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Ok, I have a question...and I am in no mood to be bashed. If you cant just answer the question in a respectable manor, please dont even comment.

So most of you on here know that my now seventeen year old son is a father. His son is nine months now. He has been staying at his GF house because now that he got his GED, he isnt in school..and she needs him to watch my grandson while she is attending class. Its easier for him to stay over there because she lives in another city, and I do not have a car. Also, she works four nights a week, and he once again stays there and watches the baby. He also works on the weekends in that town she lives in, so once again it makes more sense for him to be there. I am just sad, and confused on what to do. I feel like he just turned seventeen and I lost him already. I barely see him, except for when I see my grandson and he drops him off. I know he has responsibilities now, but its hard. I didn't think I would have to go through this till he was eighteen and ready to move out. I want him home, but we argue about the fact that he needs to be there with his son. I wish there were some way to work it out, but its to much. So how to I cope with being depressed about loosing my son so early. I mean of course its not like he passed away, but he is my first born...and even though he had to grow up quickly because of his choices, its still hard.

shrugging

 
bellamommyof4

Asked by bellamommyof4 at 10:22 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 16 (2,448 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • I agree with what has been said previously... you have raised a fine young man who is taking on his responsibility as a father... be it all too soon. He is doing the right thing... let him know how proud you are and that you trust him to make good choices for both himself and this new life he has helped to create.

    It is quite normal to grieve when your child leaves home... be kind to yourself and know that this feeling of loss will pass... your son will ALWAYS come home. He sounds like an amazing young man... well done!
    :-)
    dabsbeauty

    Answer by dabsbeauty at 6:10 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • His choices have lead him to this place. Sounds like he's an amazing kid doing what he's doing. Sadly, you're right about your role right now. You are not in first place but it would be impossible for you to be...try to accept/mourn his early departure but take all the tidbits as they come without fighting. It's tough enough on them. Being there as a Grandma or for advice is worth a ton. It won't be this way forever either. Hang in there!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:36 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I applaud your son for being a man and stepping up as a father to take care of his child.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 10:26 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Look at it this way, would you rather him live with you and have no job, ged and not supporting his child?

    Look at the positive, he is trying to do what is right. Just be there and support him. Whatever you do, don't make him choose or seem like he has to between his child and you. Don't make him feel guilty. I would recommend getting some counceling too.

    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 10:26 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • You should be proud of the way he is being responsible.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I have seven sons no one should bash you period. It is very hard to cope all of mine are now gone they all left at seventeen. And yes all for females. It is very hard to cope and for the longest time I argued with all of them. Till I realized that I was wasting what time we did have together. And like you there are grandchildren involved. Then one of my sons the oldest of coarse who is now twenty two with three children looked at me took my face in his hands and asked me why I was so angry at him for doing what I had raised him to do MOM he said I am doing what you have always done taking care of my faimly just like I watched you take care of us. So now we all make sure that at least every two weeks we find a way to all come together as a faimly for a whole day. And as for me I have found hobbies and work and friends to fill up my time when they are not here. Hope it helps and good luck.
    librapeace

    Answer by librapeace at 10:47 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • You should be very proud of him, he's growing up and taking responsibility for his family! You raised him well...Congratulations on a job well done!!
    MommaKath1975

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 7:22 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • First congrat's on the grandson, I had wondered but couldn't remember your screen name.

    I don't care if they are 21, 10 or 50. It is HARD when they move on, your boy is doing something wonderful, something a lot of young men can use as an example when they find themselves in a similar predicament. I don't know how you make the sadness go away, I guess with anything time will help.

    Sorry that it has been so hard for you!
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 7:07 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I'm sure it's hard to have your child leave home no matter how old they are. I would just be sure to invite them over for dinner and stuff often to be sure to see your son as well.
    PhoenixsMommy10

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 10:24 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Thats a good idea. I hope they will spend Easter here, and not there. I am just upset that he is gone so soon. But I know its a situation that he has to be.
    bellamommyof4

    Comment by bellamommyof4 (original poster) at 10:26 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

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