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How can I get my 7 yr. old step son to realize that I am the BOSS and he is NOT?

My step son who is 7, thinks that he is not only the boss of our other 5 children but he is the boss of him self and me at times. He thinks that he should be able to do what he wants when he want without getting in to trouble, but at the same time he thinks he can tell the other kids what they can play with, what they do, what they can't do and he tells me that he is not going to do the things that I want him to do. What should I do, I have tried everything and I just don't know what eles to do. It dose not help that he thinks that if he gets mad because things are not going his way that he can just leave and go live with his mom when ever he wants to b/c she dose not have the same rules that we do and he gets to do what he wants to do when he is there. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Asked by TrishaSadler at 2:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • Maybe if you stop thinking of yourself as the "Boss" and more like a mother he will start to respect you. Just a thought.

    Answer by Susan0976 at 2:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • You have to establish yourself as a LOVING AUTHORITY FIGURE. Being a drill sargent will only backfire on you.

    Answer by AnnaBright at 2:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • You're going to have to work with his father. His father needs to tell him that this is the way it is and that NO he can't just pack up and go live with his mom because he doesn't get his way.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:22 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • It would also help to have his father re-iterate that you ARE an authority figure, and although he is the oldest, he's still the oldest KID. I don't know how long you've been his step-mom, but my step-son was 7 when his fater and I began living together and he used to give me a run or my money. I just had to stick to my guns and not give in to his demands or threats (to go live with mommy) and I also respected his POV which helped whenever he got upset for not getting his way. I would remind him that I respected his POV and he needed to respect mine. Having his father re-enforce this was key...he made it clear that I was in charge.

    Answer by ptstepmom at 10:12 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • BTW my step son is 11 now and we have a great relationship! Also his father and I were married last year.

    Answer by ptstepmom at 10:12 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Tell him "when you are grown up and you pay your own bills, you make your own rules.'And leave it at that.And stand your ground with him.He will be mad at first,But in time he will have to adjust to it.

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:05 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

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