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My oldest son is going to prison. How do I go on?

Our oldest son is 33 and is looking at 30 to life for burglary and repeat felon. He is leaving two of my grand children behind. I really could use some support. Am I alone?


Asked by rosetoes at 4:43 AM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 18 (5,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • ladybugSo sorry to hear that. I am sure you are a great mom and he made thoses choices. You just be there for your grandchildren and your other children. Stay strong!


    Answer by momavanessa at 6:03 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Oh wow I am so sorry to hear that.  Sometimes I look back on things that I did and wonder how many times I broke my mothers heart.  I don't have words of comfort but I'm giving you a "computer hug" right now.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 4:46 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • While I haven't had a child go to prison, my Mom has and it is a very difficult thing to endure as a parent.  Both my brothers have been in prison and what helped my Mom was the love and support of family and friends.  She also got a closer bond with them both through letters, phone calls and visits.  Unfortunately, they were incarcerated out of state, so visiting was only once or twice a year.  Eventually she was able to come to terms with the situation and realized they had a roof over their heads, food to eat, a warm place to sleep.  Because of their lifestyles on the 'outside' they didn't always have that stuff and that was a constant worry for her as well.  At least this way she knew where they were, they were warm and not hungry.  This is one of the hardest things to go through as a parent and my heart goes out to you.  I'll also pray for you and your family.


    Answer by JeannieBee at 5:25 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I have a son in prison right now. He is my youngest and my only son. He has been away from my family and myself for three years +. I love him very much and would like nothing better to have him in my arms. My son had a very rough teen years to young adult, he had been involved in drugs and what put him away was armed robbery. He is better today, he calls weekly and we write often. I miss him very much and I try not to dwell too much on the fact that I haven't been able to see, touch or hug him. I feel like I've missed so much of his life and to not have him here breaks my heart. Please do not give up on your son, he needs you now more then ever. Be strong for him and your grandchildren. Keep in touch with your son, never let him know your pain. Write, send pictures, call and remind him always that you are there. The strength you show and give him will be the strength that carries you through. Write me if you need to talk.

    Answer by Nomes808 at 7:11 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • sorry i''m dyslexic wish i could eddit answers on here that should say you got 2 granbabies that need you to help there mum and your son may enjoy getting letters

    sorry if you answer sound harsh i know its hard and your really upset but dont go blaming yourself

    Answer by feralkitten at 5:42 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I am so sorry! ((((hugs)))))

    Answer by pammomof9 at 4:44 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • wow that must b really hard and i understand in way....and you have support from us CM if you need to talk or what not...well there is a time in life that we all go through things and overcome them and this does not mean that you have feel times things get hard but just no GOD never lays obstacles in our path that we CANNOT handle and as a mother myself i would b devasted too but just know right now is a time in your sons life that he needs you wether it be from the outside on the inside regardless your still im here for you if you need someone to talk to prayers go out to you and your son....

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 4:55 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • well your son made his decision that's not your fault!  he broke the law and now he got to pay for it

    but you got two grandbabies that need to to help there mum you can be there for them also your some may enjoy getting letter from you 2 times a month maybe telling him how his kids are


    Answer by feralkitten at 5:40 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I have no advice for you but sending you big Hugggggggggggggggs.

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 7:32 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • So sorry to hear that! You have to remember that the choices were his to make, and that it's not at all your fault. Just keep your chin up, and keep in mind that you can visit him and write to him, and so can his children.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:38 AM on Mar. 21, 2011