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Hair style question and my SO's comments about mine

Ok so this may seem petty but I would like to hear thoughts on this. I am one of those wacko women that has to have good hair. I don't obsess over it but I like my hair being done and in place. I have always, always gotten compliments on my hair and how it looks. Unfortunatly the style I wear requires quite a bit of product, which in turns means I don't a soft, flowing style. Nonetheless, I receive compliments on how it looks always. Here's my dilemma. My SO has made comments from time to time about how he's like me to grow it out and also wear it softer. A little background as well, I am the first blond he's ever been with. All his ex's were long dark haired women. I am blond with shorter hair. Now I have been told I would look good, going back to my darker natural color, but right now I am not wanting this. I have experimented with some low lights and in the past few months have tried to start growing it out, but I cannot keep doing this. I like the style I have and I can go with some low lights in it for now, but I prefer my hair life it is. Anyways over the weekend, I tried wearing my hair flat and down for my SO. I was miserable the whole day and could not stand how I looked, so Sunday I redid it and went back to my up-do. Well he made a comment and that started the tiff. I tried explaining to him that I feel bad when he makes comments about it. I explain to him,he met me and fell in love with me as I am. So why does he make the comments about me changing my hair and wanting it longer or darker? I told him this makes me feel like he doesn't accept me for how I am.
I would love to be able to grow it out, I would love my long hair back but the in between kills me and I just cant do it. Do you think I am being over sensitive when he makes the comments about my hair? Or am I right in thinking he's trying to change me and isn't accepting me for how I am and how he met me? trivial post, yes I know but this really upsets me and I need to know if I am over-reacting?

Answer Question

Asked by CopingMom33 at 7:53 AM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (238 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • See if you are gonna be okay with d experiments with his looks then it is okay but if you think and feel that you too should be able to tell him about his looks, in that case you too need to listen to him on this account....

    Answer by AnuMeha at 7:56 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Guys just don't understand how sensitive this subject can be for women, but most likely he's just trying to spice things up a little (it's your hair not your personality that he has a problem with after all). Maybe you could Try just giving him what he wants when you're home alone but fix it your way to go out. Personally I don't think a woman should keep the exact same style for years. Variety can be nice. Remember you aren't the only one who looks at it every day.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:31 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I would try what your husband is asking. Whenever my hubby has a suggestion about my hair I always try it. Men like it when they can run their fingers through your hair and they like change every once in a while. I bet your hair looks amazing how you do it, I used to do updos on myself all the time. I also changed it up from day to day also. Compromise. One day wear it down and soft, next day do your updo :) if you are not used to the soft look, it will take time to get used to.

    Answer by amber1330 at 9:04 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I've been a hairdresser for 12 years and it is just hair. Chances are if you've been wearing the same hairstyle for a long time it's tim,e for a change. Maybe look through some different styles until you see a hairstyle and color you like(they're never on the same pic) i would keep some blonde. Maybe color the underneath bottomsections a red or auburn. Reds always fade to brown but it will be vibrant enough to spice you up and keep you from looking mousy(which you may feel after years of blonde)If he wants to see you with long hair then grow it. You can always cut it unlike the opposite and you may like being able to just throw it in a ponytail.BUT don't be hurt. Men are pretty hip on hair,believe it or not, my husband is always helpful, and honest although he doesn't read my mind and say what I want to hear all the time. I satisfy him every time with throwing some red in there but I am a lifelong blonde and won't change.

    Answer by CHarlan at 9:31 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Talk to your stylist. Talk to your girlfriends. Not about your husband's comments, but about how you would look with it growing out and when it is long.
    I am not sure if you said he was commenting on the color or the stiff shortness and more free feel and look. Running his hands through your hair or watching it sway could be important to him. If you have had this style for awhile maybe it is time for a change.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:57 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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