Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i handle going through a custody battle but im dating a criminal whose good to my kids what will happen in court

Answer Question

Asked by heather570 at 3:36 PM on Nov. 25, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Many times it depends on the crime and how long ago it was and if he has had any offenses since. Your ex though is supposed to be informed of his criminal history. Now if he is a sex offender and it wasn't one of those love struck teenage where mom or dad didn't approve then you might have some issues being able to stay with him and have your kids as well.

    Answer by Geminus at 3:38 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • It depends on many factors. What was the crime committed? Is he finished serving his sentence (parole/probation)? Was the crime child centered which would make the environment dangerous to the child. Are you supporting the kids? Are they well fed and clean? Has CPS been to your home ever? Whats in YOUR past as a person? Who can give them the most stable home that best mimics when you were with your ex? The age of the children and their ability to choose where to live. It isnt just any one factor coming into play here. Also do you have a lawyer? Does you ex?

    Answer by gemgem at 3:45 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • if its becomes a problem tell the courts to do a home study and psych exam. i had to fight cps for my daughter and my boyfriend at the time (husband now) took all those steps to show he wasnt a danger or anyting to the children. he has an extencive criminal background and alot of it for bar fights and things of those nature. he and i both had home studies and psych exams and everything turned out perfect! I have full custody of my daughter and her 'real dad' is not in the picture

    Answer by MamaChamberlain at 10:57 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • There are many factors for the courts to look at, but for your child/children and your own sake, if it is a CSC, or any kind of abuse charge, I would back off of a relationship w/boyfriend, and if he doesn't understand that you need to do what you need to do for your kids, then maybe it wouldn't be in the best interest for you to be with him. Many people with CSC charges are manipulators, and they are good at what they do. They are sick petafiles who seem to look for moms who look at the good in people, and they can seem to be good with your children, but they are definitely something to STAY FAR FROM. I am not judging you or your man, but I have seen, and been through a very ugly court battle, and if their was one thing I would change, it would have been that I would have faced the courts by my self. If you need anything else, more further advice, feel free to contact me. I hope all goes well with you and kids.

    Answer by yomamatinac at 1:01 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Depending on what he did you may be in trouble. The judge may think you lack judgement since you are with a known criminal. If the crimes were in the past 5 years I would think the judge would most definitely hold that against you since that is not long enough to prove he has changed. You may need to drop this guy and think of your kids first. Sucks if he has really changed but kids always come first men are a dime a dozen.  This is a no brainer really if staying with this guy causes you to lose your kids. 


    Answer by momtoonecuteboy at 1:44 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Your kids come first. It does depend on what he did, but if my husband did this for example, I'd make every effort to keep my children from being around a person who was not fit. It makes me think of the movie that had Ricky Bobby----he was thinking of becoming a "nice drug dealer" it was funny, but the truth it there is often suspect behavior and questionable surroundings around a "criminal." If he did something years ago, turned his life around--maybe ok, but the Father of your children has a right to set limits and inquire about all aspects of this man. The kids come first.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 2:04 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.