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Am I wrong?

I know my boyfriend wants to get married. I always see him looking at other girls, he knows I see him do it because I always confront him about it. He always denies it, but he knows that I see him. And this is the reason that I wont marry him. It really hurts me when I see him look at other girls, and it really brings down my self esteem. Do you think that its wrong of me for not marrying him because of this? Am I being ridiculous?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Not at all.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:46 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think at some point a person sees an attractive member of the opposite sex. It's just likely to happen. That said, there is a difference between a quick glance and staring at someone. Also, it doesn't seem respectful that he knows it bothers you and keeps doing it when he's with you. I wouldn't feel great about that either.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:48 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think the point is more- why deny that he is looking? Why lie about it? If your problem is just that you don't want him looking, he needs to stop out of respect. Also not telling the truth about something that dumb is not good either.

    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:59 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • He knows it bothers you and he still does it? I would think that he doesn't care about what bothers me and I would think that is reason enough to not marry him.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:00 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • trust is a very important thing between two people, however being insecure with yourself is more important. I have to admit I look at everyone, men and women. My husband on the other hand is the complete opposite. He never looks at another woman, as far as I can tell infront of me. I am sure when he is out by himself he might.
    JNLmomme09

    Answer by JNLmomme09 at 11:02 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • You are not being ridiculous. A woman should never marry a man who is still looking at other women. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that I can plainly see that he is still looking, and I will not marry a man who doesn't have eyes only for me. I would then tell him that we would be parting company until such time as he decides he wants to be that man or until such time as I meet someone else who does. You will not be slamming the door in his face, but you will be telling him that you will no longer tolerate that kind of behavior from a man who says he wants to marry you. Actions really do speak louder than words!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:03 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • no ur not in the wrong by any means!! ok looking at oppisite sex is part of our nature, we all do it at some point or another! but i strongly agree w/ u if he knows it makes u upset and he still continues he dosnt respect what ur asking . an if he can't respect ur wishes now whats not saying later on down the road he won't do something else?? see what i am getting at here?? just chose ur path wisely and good luck!!
    heiditr

    Answer by heiditr at 11:04 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • There's a difference in a once in a while look to admire a pretty lady or if he's ogling women all the time. If it's the latter, I would say I would not marry him.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:19 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • No its not wrong for any reason if you dont want to marry someone, thats your personal choice.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:25 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • You're not wrong to not want to get married yet. You do need to know that "looking" isn't the same as "ordering," though.

    18 years married here... more than 20 together. Mine "looks" all the time. So do I. Nothing's gonna happen... and neither of us is going anywhere.

    When you get that kind of feeling in your own relationship, you'll both be ready.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:15 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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