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why does my hubby reject me in bed when i try to get things going, it seems hes the one thats always tired, lately i just dont even bother, im offended and am starting to feel he maybe isnt very attracted to me anymore(especially b/c staying at the beach i caught him checking out some young and vulnerable girls with hes buddies who i even caught giving the girls rude comments)?


Asked by 2precious2 at 2:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Not sure about his sense of humor but you could hold a sign up when he comes home that says "Will work for Sex". My SO isn't one for talking much so I have to communicate the best way I can. He says I talk too much so I try to not talk since he tunes me out unless I say what I want him to hear quickly. Seducing mine is a turn off to him. He likes to be Mr Macho and do the chasing but how can we get chased if they won't chase? I find that humor works for me. Sign = funny. Message = clear. You could always do the jealousy thing. Make other men look at you so Alpha Male will know he needs to be taking care of business in his own back yard!

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:17 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I was in this situation for years. I left the ass,and am now muchhhhhhhhhhhh happier. Why does he do this?i still haven't figured out,mine had a issue with porn though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • There could actually be a number of reason why this is happening. None that may have anything to do with you.

    *Stress at work; coworkers, boss, extra hours
    * Weight, or weight gain
    * High blood pressure
    * Poor diet
    * Finical problems

    Any of these things could be a trigger or reason for the in-activeness in the bedroom. I would first make him a doctors appointment. Have him go for a physical.

    Also usually men who are early or late 30's tend to lose their sex drive, while we are just gaining ours. You could try to spice things up, but getting new lingerie, get some toys... New positions.. Anything to new and exciting...

    Last case resort, look into when he goes and comes from work, any unexplained time? Is he grumpy or mean to you other times? Could he be cheating?


    Answer by sweetpea04 at 3:04 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Have you just tried talking to him? Maybe try to have a special evening just the two of you and explain how you are feeling and encourage him to open up about himself. I am sure whatever it is isn't about you, but whatever is going on with Him. =)

    Answer by cubby15 at 3:10 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • i agree with sweetpea04,i think shes right it might be stress from work or something. try buying a sexy night gown. and be waiting at the door for him when he comes home. (make sure noones coming home with him first, lol.)

    Answer by DiannG at 3:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • My grandmother (1 of my best friends when she was alive) told me that people always want they can't have - it's just human nature. What would happen if U scheduled time 2 talk. Just tell him that 1 night this week U would appreciate 15 mins of his time, & discuss w/ him what U R feeling, B truly honest, & ask him 2 share what might B bothering him. Let him know that U
    R hurting. Next... My answer is too long it won't let me send it. Continued...

    Answer by Bogi at 6:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Next, here's a question 4 U. When you stand infront of the mirror, naked and look yourself deep in the eyes R U happy w/ what U C, both inside & out? U need 2 B! When I looked in the mirror, a few months ago, I was not happy w/ what I saw, since I've had my 3 kids everything went south on me. I don't have $ for a boob job or a face lift, but B-sides that what can I do 2 feel better about myself. Well I knew I could stand 2 lose a few pounds, eat healthier, dress better, take better care of myself, (moms tend 2 put their children and family 1st & themselves last). So I decided 2 take time out of my busy day 2 focus on me. (Might I add that exercise is the key, those endorphins, whether U need 2 lose weight or not, are empowering, they R adictive & they R a way 2 take out all of those frustrations & hurt feelings)

    Answer by Bogi at 6:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • When U take time out of Y-R day for y-rself, I find that U not only become a better person but U become a better parent. By doing so U R telling URselve "I am important and I value myself as a person, &d that I need 2 B the best that I can B in every aspect of my life." Think about it what would happen next week (God forbid) your husband died or left U for another woman. Where would U go, what would U do? My husband & I R presently going through a divorce. He had an affair on me @ 1 point in R relationship, he filed 4 the Dvorce back in March, - he is moving out this Saturday 7/11 - we go 2 court on 8/11 2 finalize everything. But Because of this new ME (independant, determined, focused, strong, empowered & soon 2 become self-reliant person) he wants 2 start dating after our separation. Who knows what the future

    Answer by Bogi at 6:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • will hold for us, but I feel so good about myself knowing that I am doing everything in my power to "BE ALL THAT I CAN BE, and I am doing it for ME. All I'm saying is that life is 2 short & U never know what will happen 2morrow, B prepared by being everything U were meant 2 B 2day. My grandmother also said "If your'e not happy w/ yourself how can U B happy with anyone else.
    Soory my answer is solong but I just wanted 2 share all of my thoughts.

    Answer by Bogi at 6:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2008