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Omg help!

My soon to be husband's side of the family are like hillbillys. They are "helping" me with the wedding and just because my fiance's sister had a white trash wedding outside with beer coolers and bare feet doesn't mean I have to. Don't get me wrong I like to camp and do outdoorsy things but this is ridiculous. My soon to be mother in law actually said we can lay a tarp down if you don't want to get your "perdy" dress dirty. wtf?!? My fiance' is nothing like them so it makes me wonder if he is adopted. I want to make future hubby happy but I really want a nice traditional wedding and they scoff or say something underhanded about it. I've told my fiance' but he said that it's just their way of helping. Idk. I want to be firm and say I don't think that's my style but I really want to say hell no that is disgusting. ugh.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I bet they are doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you. Be thankful they want to help.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 11:48 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • It's your wedding, not theirs. Do what you want.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:50 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • LOL...... its your day. Tell them ypur ideas of an indoor wedding and plans. If they still continue to talk about this outside wedding then said I'd rather just go somewhere to get married. I don't want a outside wedding.

    however, some out door wedding are beautiful..... but not like the show "my big fat redneck wedding'.... although I find that pretty funny to watch also. What does your family say about it???? Shouldn't they be helping you also???? good luck

    Answer by kkbird at 11:52 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Go ahead with your own plans. Perhaps they can have a casual party on another day to celebrate the marriage.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:52 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Well, it's your day, not theirs. And if all else fails, elope! And if they keep making snarky remarks, don't take it. You don't have to. But, I'd forewarn your honey first. I do understand them wanting to help, but helping isn't them doing what THEY want. It's helping with what YOU want, isn't it? And, he needs to want what makes you happy, too. And obviously they aren't making you happy with the way they talk down about how you want your wedding. He's got to know that they way they are vs the way he is is noticeable. And that you don't particularly care so much for what they are suggesting. He needs to back you up here.
    Maybe there are very small, less significant things they can be tasked to do? Things that they can't, for lack of a better word for, trash-up too much? At least they seem accepting of you. There are tons of women on here that aren't accepted at all by their inlaws. Just try to find a balance though. GL!

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:52 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Just smile and say "I'll handle it" if you don't want their influence on it.. You may want to talk to your future Hubby too, he may be able to help since it is his family you're talking about.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:53 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Don't be too sure that he "is nothing like them." The apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree. If this is something you really don't want to happen, then you should tell him and he should tell them how it is going to be. If he isn't willing to do that now, you can expect more of the same once you are married. While they may very well mean well, this is to be your wedding and if they truly want to help, they should be willing to do what you need them to do and not be trying to dictate how they want it to be. Just don't be fooled into thinking that this will be an isolated incident, because it won't be. If they can dictate to your future husband and you on this, and if he chooses to defend them and their position, you are in for heap big trouble!

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:54 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • talk to them... be straight forward with them an let them know how u feel bout the situation.. maybe u can mention how u want things to go for ur wedding day an ask them for their imput and their thoughts so they don't feel so out in the left field soto speak! after all it's ur day an it's about u and ur soon to be spouse, yeah everyones has an opinion but bottom line its the two of u that have to live with the choice u make... ty an hope this helps otu some an wishing u the best of luck!!!

    Answer by heiditr at 11:55 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I was raised with around a bunch of "hillbillies", they are probably just pulling your chain. Most of my family is like that. PS. I'm not adopted, but husband sometimes thinks I am too. They do manage to raise "normal" (and I use that term loosely) and socially acceptable children. I think that is why my DH and I went to the court house. Didn't have to deal with our conflicting families. Both blue collar, but different levels. GL with you wedding though. I hope everything comes out all right.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 11:56 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • While I don't think that an outdoors wedding with bare feet is 'white trash'(the beer coolers definitely are lol), I will say that it is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and it should be all about YOU and your husband, not what they think is nice, or what they want out of it. Tell them they can have a barbeque on their own time, and start giving orders, honey! Let that bridezilla out and tell everybody how it's gonna be! lol

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:24 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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