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Do you invite your pregnant sister over when your kids were sick yesterday?

And don't tell her until she's been there for an hour that your kids were throwing up yesterday? Or that your friend was over with her kids that same day, and her kids have pink eye?
I am five months along, and my sister thinks that if her kids are actually currently throwing up then they count as being sick. If they threw up an hour ago, they aren't sick anymore. She never tells me about the state of health of her children, and gets all rude and defensive when I ask her if they are sick. She asked me to babysit for her last night, and I said I would if her kids weren't sick. My exact words were "Sure, no problem, if the kids aren't sick. Are they? I don't need to be getting sick now, with the baby coming and ( my year old son) teething and already pretty grouchy." Her reply was "Thats great, can you be here by 10 a.m.?" I said back "I can if the kids aren't sick. I can't get sick right now." "Great, thanks!" I then sent her a text message and asked her point blank, as if I hadn't already, if the kids were sick. She never answered. I went to her house early in the morning so I could see if they were sick before I agreed to babysit them. After I had been there for an hour, one of her kids got up from bed and said "I feel better Mommy." I asked her if she had been sick and she told me she threw up four times yesterday. I told my sister I was leaving and went home, totally pissed off. I took a shower, gave my son a bath, and am still seething about it!! And she has been telling our whole family that I agreed to babysit for her and then backed out, so she had to cancel an important appointment.
When I was pregnant with my son, this same sister showed up at a family get-together without telling anybody before hand that she and her kids had pink eye. I got pink eye and a nasty cold while I was 2 months pregnant, and it turned into a painful sinus infection. As if you aren't already scared enough when pregnant with your first baby, lets add some nasty illnesses!!! Needless to say, as a result I no longer trust my sister to be honest about her kids being sick. We now leave every family function whenever she shows up sick, whether it be Thanksgiving dinner (which we had to do this year!) or Christmas (last year!). Everybody else in the family hates when she shows up sick, but no one will say anything to her, and I'm about to bust!!!!!
Anybody else have a family member this thoughtless?!?!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I always ask too..its a norm around our family if anyone is sick we always let the others know before hand..i have a 1yr old and my aunt has a 2yr and is preggo again and we always ask those kinds of things

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 12:09 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • You were absolutely right to leave and it was awful of your sister to not tell you. You have to look out for your health and that of your kids before anyone.

    Answer by reaandiziesmama at 12:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Oh yeah. We have relatives like this. When our first was a baby, they'd badger the hell out of us for a visit. We'd get there and three out of the four of them would be hacking and coughing and sometimes have a fever on top of everything. Our son would catch it no matter how short of a time we stayed. To my DH it was no big deal because he worked and didn't get the great pleasure of taking care of a sick baby. I finally said no more, when they are well they can come see us. The first time our second baby got sick after she was born thanks to the relatives who somehow forgot not to come around us sick, we all got it. Even DH. He was home sick through his days off and two days of the week. He finally understood. We used to hear the theory about them needing to get sick to build up immunity so I pointed out that our kids have spent quite a lot of time sick due them and they still catch every stomach bug and cold that comes along.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:35 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • And before anyone jumps down my throat, I don't wipe down my counters with raw chicken or anything, I do keep things clean, but I don't obsess about it either.

    Answer by Rosehawk 12 minutes ago

    Um, you're courting food poisoning on that one. At the very least, you need to clean your kitchen counter after you have raw meat on it. Seriously that is just scary.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Anonymous, you missed what I said: I DO NOT wipe down my counters with raw chicken. I DO keep things clean, but don't obsess about it (but not to the point where I'm disinfecting every surface every hour)


    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I wl be mad...

    Answer by smiley745 at 2:05 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Ok the Pink Eye thing I get because it's highly contagious. But the rest sounds like you're overly concerned about germs. Just because a child is throwing up does NOT mean they are contagious. Maybe they ate something that wasn't agreeing with their stomachs? Maybe the milk was bad?

    Without being exposed to germs and bacteria a child's body does not build up the necessary natural immunities needed to stay healthy. I have some family members that disinfect everything, and their kids are always sick. We're a little on the lax side of disinfecting, but our kids are rarely to never sick. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I don't wipe down my counters with raw chicken or anything, I do keep things clean, but I don't obsess about it either.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:22 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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