Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What can or should be done?

My 18 yr old son who lives with me has just gone with his father who only has contact with him on the weekends and gotten a tattoo. They both knew I was against it, yet they went and did it without even a phone call to me to discuss it. I feel it was extreamly disrespectful but not sure what I can do about it. I want to tell him to go live with his father but Im afraid he won't graduate if I do that. He is supposed to gradute this June. How would you handle this? Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!


Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • He wants to be an adult - give him the adult treatment. Bills to pay - he's 18 let him pay you rent for living in your home - and meals to cook and food to purchase.

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • he is 18, what can you do? no you do not approve but is that reason to kick him out and tell him to live with his Dad? I think you just need to learn to accept it, kids will do those things, My son wants one too but he isn't 18 yet.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 1:49 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • It's a tattoo. He is 18. He didn't commit murder. Seriously, he graduates in 3 months. Let the kid finish school then kick him out if you feel the need to disown your son because of a tattoo.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Talk to him about why it's still your business (b/c he lives in your house) and also ask him honestly why he thinks it isn't your business. Then hope that you have a good conversation that will improve future disagreements or conflicts. Also, be glad he turned to his dad instead of his peers - I wouldn't want my son doing something he knew I disapproved of, but if he was going to do something like that anyway (which all kids will at some point or another), I would hope there was an adult he felt comfortable turning to.

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Sorry, you cant do anything. In the laws eyes he is a legal adult. His father was with him when he got it to boot. All you can do is accept it and more on.

    Answer by vbruno at 1:52 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • His body, his choice. Like or not he is legally an adult, and you can no longer restrict the decisions he makes- nor is he responsible to inform you of what he decides to do with/to his body.
    If you truly are concerned that he will not graduate if he goes with his father, then continue being a responsible parent until he graduates in less than 3 months. If he doesn't it will make life harder on everyone.
    Honestly, ink isn't a big deal- if it was a way of bonding with his father, even better. His dad may not have been around before, but he may very well be now that your son is "legal". Being jealous, standing in the way, or in any other way obstructing the relationship is damaging to everyone... I witnessed what it does to the entire family (am from a blended family- 2 sets of 1/2 siblings). Please, step back from teh situation and look at it objectively.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:55 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • He's 18. Legally he can go get a tattoo with anyone he wants to. It is very unfortunate that your ex was involved and in undermining your parental authority with him. All the more reason to keep with you a few more months to make sure he graduates.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • hugsi know it is hard satution, maby u just have to wait until he graduted. Good luck


    Answer by lelly1019 at 1:49 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • well, she is right u cant kick your son out out his house no matter what

    Answer by lelly1019 at 1:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Sorry to hear that. I would be so upset. But I think maybe his age is the key here. He is 18. Did he go with his father because kids need parental consent to get a tatoo under a certain age? I would let him know how disrespectful it was and how hurt you are. Don't jeopardize his schooling because of it, though. I am not much help..........

    Answer by elizabr at 1:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2011