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5 Bumps

Ok. So should I allow him to? adult content

Dh is Bi. I knew this from the get go. I am as well. I have NEVER been with a woman in my life, but have fantasized about it. Dh on the other hand says he has never had sex with a man, but he has given oral, and masterbated someone.

Dh's biggest fantasy is to have another man in our bedroom. So he can experience being with a man and fulfiling his fantasy... And also sharing his first time with me.

Ill admit it.. I get off to watching HIS reaction when we are watching gay porn (consists of male, male, female, with male interaction with one another & female joining in) HOWEVER, the thought of HIM doing it.. puts me on edge.

What if I DO give him the green light? Will he just want to do it more? Its only supposed to be a one night thing.. and so he could fulfill his fantasy... but what if he gets addicted or something? Leaves me for another man?? Then what? I fear I will get VERY insecure and jealous. He says he probably wouldnt do it.. because he says the thought gets him off being able to share me, but he wouldnt let it happen bc he is too jealous, and wouldnt want another man touching me.

I believe him about the jealousy part, but I know its something he wants to do, he tells me all the time.. Its a bit annoying... I dunno what to do... Give in and live with regret? Or give in and realize, I just let him fulfill his fantasy, and feel good about it??

My gut is telling me one thing... and I think I know its the truth..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • I think you should go with your gut.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 2:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • While I have never been in this kind of situation, I would say to follow your gut. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 2:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • If you feel that it will make you insecure, jealous, uncomfortable, anything like that, then don't do it. It doesn't really matter whether he'd want to do it more or leave you for another man (or even another woman), what matters is that you already know that you don't feel good about doing it. So don't. If he loves you, he'll understand.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think inviting anyone else male or female, into the bedroom can cause problems in the relationship and shouldn't be done.

    Answer by missanc at 2:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Honestly, unless you are 100% sure YOU want to do this, don't.... Threesomes are tricky, and 99% of the time, somebody gets jealous/hurt feelings/insecure, and the relationship ends up being horribly damaged.

    Answer by Anouck at 2:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • My husband is the straightest man I know lol but if he wasnt I dont think I could ever live with knowing I let him do that. Our relationship is based on his wanting ME... not someone else too. But thats just me? lol

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 2:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

    I only say this because this could open a path that may lead him to find out that he prefers being with a male over a female. Which could cause issues with the two of you. I personally dont recomend sharing your DH with anyone. Its just a recipe for disaster. You both had a period before getting married and committing to each other to "sow your wild oats". I just think that you two might need to think things through before you share you bed.
    Why dont you look into your local "toy" store and see if you could full fill his needs with ....lets say....a "Butt Plug"....or let him get you from behind. You can do it while watching gay porn. Either way it should fullfil his needs.

    Good luck.
    ~ Michelle

    Answer by Wish2Be at 2:57 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I agree with these ladies, go with your gut.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 2:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Thats tuff, me personally, I would stay clear of that, unless you are prepared that he may like it alot and want that full time. I give you credit,, men cheat enough with "other women" i couldn't be with a Bi man, now the field is oen to both I'd go Becareful and best wishes whatever you decide.

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • My boyfriend is definitely straight and I know he wouldn't do anything with another man, but I am bi and even though I am bi there is no way I would want another female in the room. So pretty much, if he was bi I wouldn't want another male in the room. I am content with just us two, nobody else. Everybody is different though, just follow your heart.

    Answer by jessiskinner200 at 3:00 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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