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Where's the love?

Sometimes I feel like my son doesnt love me because of the sad hard times I had when he was born. Because I was sad I was not very playful with him ( but I was always kissy and lovey to him) But because of that I feel like it ruined our bond and now he is not close to me, and does not love me. I feel like that because he crys even when Im holding him (shouldnt he not cry when his mom is holding him)? And too, he said DADA first and sometimes he does not get excited when he sees me when I come from work.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Stop beating yourself up - you didn't ruin your bond. Sometimes they say DADA and sometimes they say MAMA and ALL children cry when their mother holds them at one time. I think you are feeling a lot of self imposed guilt about a time you cannot change. You said it - you loved him and kissed him, so how you could you ruin anything? You didn't deny him love or comfort. Let go of yesterday and live your life now. They go through periods where they want daddy and then the pendulum swings back and they are more mommy's. You are a young mother who is doubting herself, don't do that. When I first brought my daughter home, my grandmother was the only one who could quiet her down - I was happy for the help.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Don't doubt yourself. Your baby loves you and wants you. I learned this trick along time ago, when I first started working and had to be away from my baby. I would come home from work and my baby didn't get excited to see me so I would rub my babies on thier thighs and smile. Then I would pick my baby up and whisper in his/her ear that I was there to take care of them now. Once that was established, my babies were won over.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:22 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Both my boys cried at times even when I held them. They often have little pains they can't tell us about. I believe many children say Da Da first because its easier to say than Ma Ma.

    CoffeeWriter

    Answer by CoffeeWriter at 6:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Dada is the easiest sound to make and most kids say it first but don't know what they are even saying...so drop that.
    Ok, so you don't feel like you bonded well....he is young, and he knows who mommy is trust me. Now your only job is to work at bonding better. You have his whole life to try.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 4:26 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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