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This is so stupid!

I trust my SO completely. Yet, reading all the stories of cheating spouses, from women who never thought they'd do it, or reading stories about websites designed for cheating spouses gets me all paranoid. I know my partner, and he wouldn't cheat, why does this stuff get in my head?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I so agree with you, Sometimes its like why am I reading this. My life isnt all bad after reading some stories. Its weird and I dont know what to tell ya lol Sorry.

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 3:42 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • because you let it. Be confident in your relationship - don't let this crap get in your head. NOT everyone cheats.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 3:46 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Everyone wants to believe that their partner won't cheat, just keep your eyes open

    Answer by karen1954 at 4:21 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • You SHOULD be confident but not over confident in your relationship. I have been married to my husband for 31 years, and I was over confident that he would never cheat on me. We have always had an incredible relationship, and yet, he had an affair. We are still together, still very much in love, so there is something to be said for staying with it and working it out, although things were rough for abt a year or so. I think people who cheat lack respect for themselves, and if they can't respect themselves, how can they respect others?

    Answer by my_daisy at 5:13 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • It was getting into my head there for a while, too. Because of all the cheating talk on here, and all the cheating going on around us. It was causing me to doubt my hubby, and question him. It caused problems and fights. I was unhappy with how I felt. I had to stop worrying about everyone else, and concentrate on OUR relationship, stop worrying about others. It stopped as fast as it started. But I know we got through cycles, where we get along and where we fight. This was just, bad. I hated it. I'm glad I don't feel like that anymore.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • It seems to be everywhere, the cheating, and it's making me super paranoid. I've talked to him, he somewhat reassured me (as much as he could during our short phone call), but I feel like crap. It's not him, it's all me, and I hate it. There is no reason to feel this way, and I know there isn't. I trust him, I know he loves me, I know I'm a good person and am worth it, but I can't help but feel like he'll end up wanting to be with someone else. If not that, then just being super close to someone else and sharing things that should only be shared between a husband and wife (nonsexual), I guess like an emotional affair. Like I said, it's stupid, and it's my stupid self esteem today. For some reason, it's in the toilet, and it's killing me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:35 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Well, I don't agree that we KNOW that someone wouldn't cheat. We may believe they won't, but we are all human and have our strengths and weaknesses. We know our partner's values and morals but we all screw up sometimes. I am just saying I no longer put stuff past anyone. That's just me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • It is unfortunate that there is a lot of cheating talk, and even more unfortunate that there is a lot of cheating. Personally, I'm glad there is a place like this not just to unload, but to help each other thru whatever life puts in our path.

    Answer by my_daisy at 6:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I agree Anon, that one can never truly "know", that's part of the problem for me. I'm skeptical by nature, and reading all the misfortunes of others (as well as going through my own) makes it worse. That said, I have zero reason to believe that he will cheat on me, at least at the present time. I am not naive enough to think it could not happen, but I don't want to be making up issues either. I just hate feeling like this and wish I knew how to stop it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think you just have to make the choice to stop feeling like you do. I do know what you're saying because I've been there too. It sucks. I made the choice that I wasn't going to let others control how I felt. I also realized that there are such things as a self fulfilling prophacy and if you keep up your suspisions they just may come true. Only you can control how you let other people affect you!

    Answer by michelle121003 at 9:42 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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