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How can I have more patience and understanding for a 17 year old?

We have had custody of my husband's youngst child, (17 years old) for 4 years. I welcomed oppurtunity to nurture this child when my husband asked me if he could come live with us. I had no children of my own, I welcomed being a stepmom who could provide love, and guidance for Killian for very imortant years of his life.
Boy was I wrong!

When Killian came to live with us he had nod for 3 years. He had been diagnosed with Tourettes, ADHD, Bi-Polar, among some of the diagnosis. He had been going to psychologist and psychiatrist since he was 8 years old. He medication included a total of up 8 medications at one time. My first goal was to try to get Killian off all medications so that we could see who this 13 year old boy is....he took meds to sleep,  to wake up, to focus, ETC. ...for 8 years!!  I was determined create an atmosphere at home that was going to loving and nurturing. His Mom doesn't drink, or do drugs, and she is mostly a good influence she has not taken the "time" to give guidance t o the parents.

Answer Question
 
Jane466

Asked by Jane466 at 5:50 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • It is hard just try!!! Really,really hard!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 5:52 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Maybe it's not patience and understanding that you need. Maybe it's that you need to lay down rules and enforce them. If this child is out to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, having patience and understanding with him is the absolute wrong thing to do. Since you haven't said exactly what the problem is, it's hard to say how you should handle it, but I tend to think he probably is in need of a heavier hand and not a lighter one.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I feel like a Sargent in the Army. And from day one, Killian has become aware of consequences.
    Jane466

    Comment by Jane466 (original poster) at 7:09 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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