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Embarrassed of my friend....

I know that sounds very bad... but I cant help it that I do ( and I do feel like a crappy person for feeling this way) .......

We have been friends since high school ( we are 24 now ). After becoming mothers we grew closer but now as time goes on I feel myself pulling away from her, because I feel embarrassed about some of the things she says and the things she does.

For one thing, she is on PA - which if she really needed it then thats fine ( that is what it is for afterall) ... but if we go out shopping together she will spend like $50 on makeup, clothes or toys, and then hand over her food stamp card to pay for her drinks and food that she gets at the same time and she thinks nothing of time we had to stop by the store and she went in and got a few groceries and a couple candles and then got each of her kids a toy ... she then realized she forgot her food stamp card so she paid for the other stuff and we had to go all the way back to her house just so she could get the card to go back and buy the bread and pop she "couldnt" get with the actual money she had on her.

When she met my mother in law ( who is very "uppity" ) for the first time she actually told her that when her kids go to school she is still going to stay at home because if she got a job they would lose all of their PA ... Her boyfriend actually makes decent money at his job but they are content on living in the dumpy trailor park ( some trailor parks are decent but theirs isnt) , and they have a car that has duct tape pretty much all over it... but yet they have a home full of high end things ( high def. big screen tvs in every room, the best of the best cell phones and computers, cameras, etc) ....

And then whenever we around other people she talks about her boyfriend and that she refuses to marry him because if they break up she will have less rights to their kids ( I am not sure why she thinks that or why she thinks it is better to just keep having kids with someone who she is already planning on not being with in the future?)

It is like she doesnt realize that not everyone wants to hear about how she uses her PA ( I actually think she thinks everyone is on it or something) .... I know this is a hot button for alot of people and when she openly talks about hwo she is basically using it when she doesnt need to be - it annoys people... and it just makes me feel like that makes me look bad too since I am associated with her.... I even have some other friends who have kind of excluded from inviting me places in case she comes too...

How can i not feel like this with her...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • She obviously doesn't have morals so I would hit the high road.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think that it may be time for you to distance yourself a little. ??

    Maybe start spending time with other friends.

    I have a very good girlfriend who is on and off on marijuana. She is married and doesn't have any kids, but I am against it and don't want my kids around it. I had to distance myself.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 6:43 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • put distance between you . and wether or not she marries him HE STILL HAS THE SAME RIGHTS AS SHE DOES. I found that out the hard way.

    Answer by kkbird at 6:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Ugh....this is why PA annoys so many people. If you need it, so be it. Otherwise, we don't wanna pay for it. I'd also distance myself...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • "and they have a car that has duct tape pretty much all over it.." do you have a picture of this car?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • lol Anon ... i dont mean like it is covered on the outside... well actually there is duct tape on a few places on the outside lol... but like on the dashboard, around the stereo, on the seats !!! it is embarrasing to be seen in lol ( which is why i drive when we go places ) ... i dont understand it -- they have had several chances to have a nicer vehicle we even offered our 2007 malibu when we traded up to a mini van ,... and we were even going to let them just pay us $75 / month for it ..but she made a stink about how they cant pay for that... but then a week later her boyfriend spends over a $1000 on a new gaming system

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Just don't go anyplace with her if shes mkg u feel uncomfortable...

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:11 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • We've had to distance ourselves from people we've "outgrown". When you just aren't going the same direction in life (obviously you're moving up), don't sell yourself short. You deserve better.

    Answer by ericsangel82 at 8:33 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • she dosnt want a nicer car because (here in NV and in Ca anyway) they may take away the PA. If you can afford a nicer car you can afford to not have PA. I am on PA and I hate it! I cant wait to get off of it, its people like her that makes people like me hate is so much! All I have to say is KARMA! Some day some way Karma will take care of her. I would not talk to her as much. SHe is a bad influence on your children. They dont need to know that can take advantage of the system like that.

    Answer by Ambear72 at 8:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Like ericsangel82 said, you sometimes just outgrow a relationship. It happens. It sounds like you have resentment for this girl, and I would too, and before it grows more just let her go. Start to put some distance between you two and see how you feel. It's not always easy to do, but sometimes the right choice. Good luck.

    Answer by michelle121003 at 9:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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