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Should you take marriage advice from someone who isnt married, but have been in a relationship for 17 years?

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Asked by ylonda at 5:39 PM on Nov. 25, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • If they've made their relationship work for that long they must be doing something right!

    Answer by Slinkee at 5:40 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would listen, if they have survived for 17 years then they know a little bit.

    But I take everything that others say with a grain of salt..I like to make my own mind up. ;)

    So take the advice, think about it, then make up your own mind ;)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:42 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Considering marriage is really just a piece of paper that says your married if she has been in a relationship for 17 years and lives with him then she might as well be married to him and can maybe offer some good advice to you. Don't look at it as "marriage" advice but relationship advice. I know more long term unmarried couples than long term married couples.

    Answer by Geminus at 5:44 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Married or not 17 yrs is a long time to be together so they must be doing something right.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:44 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Something that I hear often from people who lived together and then got married is that it is very different being married. In fact, this was a topic of discussion at my recent book club meeting---everyone agreed that it was very different. It isn't just a piece of paper (if it really is a piece of paper, we shouldn't care who gets it, right?). There's something to the conscious decision to change yourselves by entering into a marriage. That doesn't mean that this person might not have some really great advice, but they also can only imagine that they know what it is like to be in a marriage.

    Answer by evwsquared at 5:51 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would unless the advice was on getting him to propose! HA.
    A piece of paper doesn't mean that they haven't been there, done that. Whatever they have to say is worth listening to. Doesn't mean you have to take it. :)

    Answer by evilabbysmom at 5:56 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Advice is good from anyone who speaks positive and helps you grow in a relationship; however, there is a difference in being married and living together. (been there, done both) One shouldn't discount good advice. I had to laugh when I read the question though. It reminded me of hearing that nuns teach sex education! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:22 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I'll listen to suggestions from anyone, but I would take someone who can't commit to marriage a lot less seriously than someone who could.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 6:27 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • What you really need to decide is whether or not the experience of the person giving the advice is valuable. But since you asked for the advice, you must have some degree of respect for the person. It also depends upon the type of advice you seek. Are you looking for advice on how to maintain a long term relationship or how to make one work? If so, then the person you reference seems to fit that bill. Are you looking to discover if "marriage is worth it"? Well, before you seek the advice on that one, then you must define what "marriage" means to you.

    A marriage does not a relationship make....relationships are born out of, and grow from, the love, respect, admiration and mutual commitment from two people. I have been with DH for 25 years...married only the last 12 of those years. Speaking from experience, there is no difference.

    Answer by happymom612 at 8:26 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would listen, but like any advice given to me, talk it with a grain of salt and make my own decisions.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 8:27 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

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