Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Working mom vs stay at home moms. Damed if you do : damed if you dont?

Why do moms have to knock down other mommy's based on how they raise their kids. If your a stay at home mom people say stuff like, oh you must be on welfare or it must be nice to sit at home & do nothing all day. As if that's what all stay at home moms do. Then if your a working mom other mom's wanna say, oh I love my kids too much to work, as if that means you don't love your kids 'cause you work. Weather it's a choice, you want to work pt or ft. Or if you are a single mom & it's either work full time or be on welfare living in section 8 housing. Can't the mom's of the world just support eachother's decision. Don't we all do what's best for our families ? What works for me maybe don't work for you, but why rub it in or make me feel like what I do is wrong?


Asked by jfblaine83 at 11:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (470 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I've been on both sides, working and staying at home, and I really could give a poop less what some random people on a website think. I don't understand why women can't be supportive of one another instead of putting each other down for something so petty. We're all individuals with individual lives so of course not everyone is going to live the same way. There's pros and cons to both situations and one mother isn't better than the next for the choices she has to or wants to make. =)

    Answer by Nanixh at 12:11 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Because those that do that are trying to justify their choice to themselves and others. Sad really.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:42 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Im a sahm and have seen many posters talking about how they get bashed.... uh I have been a sahm for 16 yrs and have ONLY every been bashed HERE. In real life no one is 1) that rude 2) that stupid (re the assumptions made)


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I do what is best for MY son and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. My son is happy, healthy and intelligent so my working and going to school is doing good. He is also independent and can do things for himself and isn't hanging all over me.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:41 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I always wonder who these moms are that are telling each other that their way is better....I've never had a working mother imply that I was on welfare and that I just sat on my bum all day and I've never implied to a working mother that I love my kids more because I'm able to stay home....I'm starting to wonder if the whole debate is something men made up to keep us off kilter lol....seriously. I stay home because my husband prefers me to and the cost of daycare would QUICKLY eat up what little money I DID bring home....but if I needed to work I would and wouldnt feel guilty about it....both ways are equally valid ways of raising your children. Rant over lol

    Answer by Lucky209 at 11:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I think sometimes, in some circumstances, people say things about the opposite situation because they are jealous. Maybe a working mom wants to stay at home with their kids, and it comes up in conversation they put it down because, even just unconciously, they are jealous, wish they could, so they put it down to feel better about their own situation. same goes for the other side.
    im not saying specifically working vs stay at home moms. i think it can be true for many different situations.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:47 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I dont listen to what they have to say. I love being a Stay at Home Mom! I love being here for my children, I love being able to take them places and being able to take them to their Drs Appts and not having to depend on others. RIght now we are having a rough time because of an illness with my Husband! I hate working out side of the house. I dont like not knowing what my kids are doing, or what they are eating, or what they are getting into. My family is my full time job!

    Answer by Ambear72 at 11:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I understand that completely. I don't like being looked down on because i'm a stay-at-home mom, but My kids think I'm awesome. They're my world, not, everyone else. And I totally respect mothers that work and then come home to be a mom. I'm sure thats a tough thing. So, kudos to both types.
    Those that bash all the time are somewhat envyous. But I'm sure they'll come to te realization that the only thing that matters are the children....can ya dig?

    Answer by scottshoney at 11:52 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I am a SAHM with 5 kids (8,5,4,1 and 3 monthes) and I also work my ass off ( at home) I am PTA, T-ball, little leaugue, ballet, keep a perfect house (I am a little OCD...LOL) I cook 3 meals, keep a perfect garden ( military housing, trying to win yrd of the month) and I deal with all my husband military things! I volunteer, I am the backbone of this home, and my job is not easy! I also get FS..... Oh shit, is that a crime? Most lower enlisted military do! I mean when we dont need them we wont get them! But this allows s to do T-ball and such! I dont care what others think! I am a phenomenal moher, and wife, and military supporter, and FS getter...LOL and I am most of a a Catholic who loves everyone, even if I dnt agree! Hope all of you find peace in YOUR situation!I SUPPORT YOU!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I am a full time mom & I work full time. I'm also a single mom. So I have alot to juggle and one of my 'friends' stays home & her hubby works. Which dosent bother me. My kids are certainly more well behaved then her children, but I don't think staying at home or working makes that difference, it's just how the kids are raised. But she said to me the other day, I just don't know how you could work all day & let someone else raise your kids. I was like honey I raise my kids, after I get off work I go straight to daycare pick them up, do activities, play games, practice drawing & writing, make them dinner, read them books before bed & kiss them goodnight & tuck them in every night. I have to work but I don't let that take away from the quality time with my kids. My kids think I'm an awesome mom and everyday jump for joy when I pick them up. I just don't know why someoone would say something like that. lol

    Comment by jfblaine83 (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Mar. 22, 2011