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Clingy kids???

My almost 16 month old is very clingly. I'm a stay at home mom and we are with each other 24/7, when she is with a babysitter, totally fine. But when we are together we have this issue: she wants to constantly be held, but only if i'm standing up. If I sit down or get on the floor with her, she gets really upset and throws tantrums or runs up and down the house crying. It makes it difficult for me to get things done. Did anyone else have this issue? How did you break free or deal with it? My husband says just to put her in her crib while I do things, but I don't want her to associate her bed with her being 'in trouble' or something. She's not in trouble, I just need her to understand I can't stand and hold her while doing laundry, dishes or just flat out ALL the time. I've tried to just let her do her thing, but she'll countinue for hours, and distracting her with toys or a special snack rarely works!

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Asked by Humanerror99 at 12:41 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (73 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Mine is 17 months and I am with him all day every day, but if and when I do try to leave him with a friend to watch he screams. He trys to get to me then he waves buy to everyone. Hes a mommys boy.

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 2:00 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • This is actually a good thing - it is a sign of how well bonded the two of you are. Enjoy this, one day you will have a teen who pretends that she doesn't know you

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:02 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My 7month old is a little bit like that. If she want me to hold her and I do while sitting she gets upset w/ me but as soon has I stand she is fine. Luckyly for me she does very well when ppl have her I dont really leave her w/ a babysitter just some friends @ my work well hold and play w/ her while Im working. Right now she is sitting in her swing and playing right next to me. She is such a sweet good baby!!

    Answer by ZeenaS.Muh at 9:41 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I have had this issue for a while now. I just try to focus on things while my ds is napping. Then if he does happen to get distracted I'll move onto something else. It is a good sign though and I try to enjoy it when possible. It just gets hard when you really want to get something done. Maybe there's a family member that can take her for a few hours once a week or so to let you get some head space?? I don't have that luxury but most of my SAHM friends do.

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 10:05 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I don't have a lot of experience with this, but my eldest had problems with separation anxiety. With us, I would have to go for a minute, then two to ten. Eventually he'd stay with my mom for 30 or so for me to go to the store. He now has no issues with me leaving. Maybe you could try something similar with your dd. You could hold her, then have her stand next to you, then a little farther away. Work up to being in the next room. It will be a test of patience as she will probably scream a lot. But be consistent and let her know you will always be there and come back. I would also bring it up to your ped.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I wish I had the luxury of family taking care of my daughter for a little while! Sadly they all live far from me :) I'm glad to know it's just a bonding thing. I don't know any other sahms where I live and their children act alot more independent than mine when it comes to being held.

    Comment by Humanerror99 (original poster) at 1:25 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I didn't stay home with my little guy for too long, but I do have a child who was the serious case of the human cling on, and the more uncomfortable I was the happier he seemed to be. I love my little guy and always did but I felt like I couldn't do anything and that even when I went back to work I was never alone, still feel lucky if I can pee in my own home without interruption. He has outgrown this to a point...but sometimes I think he may as well just get out the pillow and smother me already. Ya, your child is going to probably outwit you with every distraction you try to create. I had some success with a transitional object. Perhaps you can let her pick out a stuffed toy who can keep her company while you do things here and there. I started waking up extra early to do chores and would nap with him when he napped to make up for the lost hours. Just think soon this will be mixed with tantrums of independence.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 2:21 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

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