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Common ground?!

my dh and I have four kids. Three boys and one girl. Shes my little princess, but growing up way too fast. My dh is a great father and he takes care of the five of us, but when it comes to his boys he finds time to spend with them. They have alot in common. They all love vidio games, football, rough housing ect. When it comes to our little girl he doesn't spend time with her. He say that she doesn't like to do anything that he does with the boys. She's really girly but I know he can fing something that he will like to do with her. I'm not a boy but I still find things to do with my boys that we both like as well as my daughter. When I talk to him about it he tells me that he doesn't know what girls like and that he can't relate to a elevan year old girl. What do I do?


Asked by Kimberly71682 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,993 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You can start out by pointing out to him that he should develop some type of relationship with his daughter because pretty soon, it will be too late. Your dh doesn't have to do girly things with his daughter to have a relationship with her but on that same hand, doing girly things with his daughter will not hurt him at all. I've seen my husband play dolls with our girls, push strollers and play house with them. I've also seen him throw the football around to them, play basketball and jump rope. He also plays with Wii with them and they all have a great relationship. He'll sometimes show them how to cook breakfast. So your husband is really making excuses for not spending time with his child.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:15 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • My DH and DD talk science. Physics last semester was very entertaining. What can I say? We're a family of geeks.

    Answer by SelaCarsen at 1:05 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My SO has two girls. 11 and 13.

    Things he does with them:
    -plays PS3 racing game, tennis, bowling, etc.
    -goes for walks
    -plays board games
    -takes them to the gym and plays bball or lets them swim.
    -rides bikes.
    -goes to museums
    -goes to movies
    -cooks (we have the girls pick out new recipes each week and we all cook together)
    -walks the dogs
    -does science "experiments"
    -helps with their video montages--they like to take pics/vids from our vacations and make videos to music
    -takes them shopping

    Just because your daughter is "girly" doesn't mean she can't go do other things. And Dad needs to clue in to the fact that the statistics show that the better a girl's relationship with her father, the less likely she is to be a teen mom, date abusive guys, or end up in a shitty marriage. He needs to try.

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 2:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • well he doesnt have to do girly things... ride a bike, kick a ball, take a hike, go fishing, climb a tree... she is a girl that doesnt exclude her from fun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • he just has to be creative with how he interacts with her. My DH plays video games with out daughter takes he rtothe mal to get earrings or just to the store to get a shake. He colors with her on occasion. Visit his job stuff like that. GL

    Answer by Baby4us09 at 7:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I have a friend who takes his daughter on daddy-daughter "dates". He lets his daughter pick what they are going to do. It helped him to get to know her, her likes and dislikes and for them bond. He said it was awkward at first-for both of them-but that they always had a good time and it created some good memories and a good relationship betwen the two of them.

    Answer by Alynn74 at 10:57 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • it might depend on her age too..i found that than older my boys get then more they like to hang out with their dad without any ill will from anyones side...maybe he can take her to the zoo?movies ? just ice cream?i wouldn`t necessarily assume it means he cares less for her...does she feel neglected?it might just be you...

    Answer by mollysmom212 at 1:21 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Let it go. Different people have different needs and different preferences. you're lucky to have a guy who loves playing with the boys so much. he will relate to her in just as valuable ways without necessarily spending the same amount of time playing with her. My DH only plays with our 3 boys, not the girls, but they still have an excellent relationship with him. That's what's important.

    Answer by judimary at 1:08 AM on Mar. 22, 2011