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How do i reason with a hardheaded 15 yr old gurl.

my dd is 15 going on 30 lol but she is very hard headed and does not want too listen too no one but her father how do i reason with her any suggestions.

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Asked by chris1975 at 8:19 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (144 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • some times there is no reasoning... some times it is simply laying down the law. She will come back around... but it may not be for a long time... until then just lay down the law and dont bother 'reasoning' it out with her. You dont need her to agree with all your rules.

    Answer by sahlady at 8:24 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Here's the thing, you don't REASON with your children; especially with teenagers. You lay down the law, you enforce it with consequences, and I say you don't reason with children is because to reason is to justify your actions - you, as the parent, don't have to justify your actions.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:25 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I never tried to reason with my 15-year olds. Their daddy and I told them how things were going to be done, and that was the end of it. If you've not practiced this heretofore, then you can expect to be met with lots of opposition, whereas we met with almost none, because we had taught our children early on that they were to respect their parents and to obey their authority. The good news for you is that it's not too late, but it will be much more difficult. I would sit her down tonight and explain the new rules. She can put in her requests and make her plea one time. She will be heard, but the decisons will belong to the parents. Once the decision has been made, that is to be the end of the discussion. Bringing it up again will be met with some serious and painful consequences. Then all you have to do is follow through and make sure she gets the message. It may take a while for her to know you mean business!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:27 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • There is really no reasoning with teens. My dd is almost 22 and I think she lost her mind from 14-20 lol. If her dad is able to reach her then communicate with him so he can maybe get some of what you are saying to her. It is very normal for teens to act this way they are trying to find their own identity away from the family so they can find themselves. We just have to use the tools we have to try and help and always be there for them when they fall. Dad is what you can use at the moment.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:28 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • hi i have a 15 year old teen and i understand what u mean, My problem is that i m not consistent, so i read that confuses them and allows them to want to push more buttons and get what they want. SO it's hard to make Rules , im doing this in writing and placing it on her bedroom door and letting her read outload before she heads out on a saturday, Trying new methods, let me know how this helps. im new to this teen mom, Mvfhmom. Good Luck

    Answer by mvfhmom at 8:47 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Same as the others. you don't reason with a 16 she is still a child.

    Your house, your rules. If she doesn't adhere to them, there are consequences. don't show weakness or she will play upon it.

    "This is what you are to do, this is what will happen if you do not do it" Period.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:53 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Talk WITH her about what she thinks are fair rules and consequences for her poor choices. Include your husband, write down the rules and consequences so it is very clear what she can expect. Just because she is still a child doesn't mean she doesn't have opinions on how her life should be. The more you push the more she will dig in her heels and not listen. I give my 14 yr old son, choices and always have. He knows what to expect. I am consistent and there are no surprises because he knows the consequences for his choices.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:18 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • rty u all for the comments and feed back i appreciate it.

    Comment by chris1975 (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the first poster. :)

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 4:07 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • counseling always helps but a scare tactic may help.

    Answer by hotchocolatema1 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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