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Follow up to "Why do men pull away".

I've been seeing this guy for about three months, so it is a new relationship...he's been through a lot and has a hard time getting close to people. He has shown interest consistently, and I just don't buy that he's pulling away because he's not interested. I know, nobody wants to admit that, that someone may not be interested in them but my instincts say he's just scared.

My question is what do I do? My instincts say to just leave him alone and let him work it out on his own...but is that right thing to do? Should I call, text just to let him know I'm thinking about him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Give it time then. If he IS into you then time should sort this issue out. If you push for more you'll only frighten him away.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 8:41 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Well I think he might be afraid to get too serious too fast. Dont leave him alone entirely, but try to reassure him of your interests as well. Let him see that he isnt falling harder for you then you are for him. He just needs to feel a little bit more comfortable with the progression of your relationship.
    Maybe stop being so serious with him on a conversation level and let the relationship ride a little....be friends while being together. Enjoy each other and try to go out and do some fun things.
    Wish2Be

    Answer by Wish2Be at 8:42 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • If your instincts tell you that he is just scared then just send him an "I'm thinking of you emai or text". I am with a guy who cam with a TON of emotional baggage and we actually spent time talking about it. I was able to get him to open up and talk about what his issues are. I wish you luck and hope that you guys can pull through this.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:43 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • If he's scared to commit to a relationship, perhaps he's not really "available" for anything more than casual dating. I get concerned about people wanting to know "the right" thing to do when dating. You need to be the person you are - if you are the type of person that is happy with frequent contact, then holding back now will lead him to think you are different and will lead to problems down the line. My advice would be for you to share your question with him - tell him exactly what you've told us here and see what his reaction is. It could be that you are looking for something more committed than he is, and knowing now will save each of you more heartache in the long run. If he's not available, you should move on.

    Relationships shouldn't be based on assumptions.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:49 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree that he'll sort it out if he is into you. Just give it some time.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:16 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • i say call or text him, let him know you care!! no matter if he is ready or not knowing someone is thinking of you
    and cares is a VERY powerful thing and then just see if he calls or texts you back and let it be if he doesn't hope this helps you
    good luck! :)
    ash2011903

    Answer by ash2011903 at 10:16 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • yeah you should just take it slow dont rush into anything let him come to you when he feels is right
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:22 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

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