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2 Bumps

Gal pals adult content

I see a lot of posts where women are upset that their man has female friend.
why? if they aren't interested in each other, then what's the issue?

Most of my fiends are guys. I've been that way since I can remember, I grew up in a neighborhood with guys and that is how I am most comfortable.

so no, I am not out to snag myself someone Else's man.
I've never had a guy pal make a move for me either.
So why am I not eager to make friends with the wife?
in my experience, when you befriend the spouse of a friend it splits loyalties. The one case in college where I befriended the girlfriend it became very difficult. If she had a fight with the boyfriend she'd flip if I spoke to him. Assuming that I was to be on 'her side' because she was the woman.
When I had no intention of taking any side.
and they really don't like it if you agree with their guy when they are mad at him.

If a guy wants to cheat, then he can find someone to cheat with just about anywhere, just because a guy if friends with a female does not mean there is a affair going on.

I'm not the one hitting on your man, I'm the one who gives him advice about your birthday present, on how to be a better husband when he feels he's lacking, and more times than I care to admit, I've been the one to convince the husband that the cutie he's sneaking around with is not worth ruining his marriage over.

I'm not your enemy just because I'm your husband's friend.





Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Honestly, my husband has more female friends than male, which is fine with me. "The guys" want expensive toys - every thing from guns to guitars, and somehow it all ends up here. "The girls" are his work friends and they have lunch once in a while.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:40 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My hub has friends that are female, doesn't bother me at all. They are my friends too
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:43 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I dont like it because my husband had a gal pal and they were talking when our marriage was headed south. Ended up hooking up and leaving my son and I for her. So thats why they shouldnt have gal pals.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 9:45 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree with what youare saying, I had male friend before I got married and DH wanted them out of the picture. It's his insecurities, I'm not confused about that part. But, he makes a lot of points why once a couple gets married he/she should have only one male/female friend and that's each other. The fact that she has a problem with it -- IMO you may want to back away for a while. He is your friend, but her husband. They may need that time to sort whatever boundaries out and if the friendship was meant to be, it will.
    PurplWildFlower

    Answer by PurplWildFlower at 9:50 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Mine has friends that are girls, and I don't care- I trust him 100% :)
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:04 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • i have a few guy friends & that all they are & they know my boyfriend
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:10 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • it depends on the situation. if a guy has friends that are girls, thats not always a problem, its how the guy acts ABOUT his female friend that can be the problem.

    whether you realize it or not the guy could be crushing on you, and his SO can pick up on this.. by actions like him hiding even innocent text messages or e-mails, or leaving the room to take calls from you, or hides your friendship completely. regardless of how innocent you want the friendship to be, things from his end may not always be innocent in his SO's mind.

    i guess what i mean is, it's not your fault and you are innocent, but that doesn't mean he's completely guilt free too.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:58 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I think it has a lot to do with the nature of the relationship, how well the wife knows you, what you and the attached man do as activities, etc.

    My LP's friends are half male, half female, and I trust all of them completely. He just grew up with these people, and you don't pick who you grew up with, ya know?!

    Then again, these ladies are about their business and have lives and families of their own, so I trust them completely, and I also trust him completely. One is a school psychologist who was with his best male friend for years, the other is a special ed teacher, and I work with them on a daily basis. We talk as much as they talk and most of the time I am invited to do whatever they're doing with them. The exception would be their annual bike race where I am NOT interested...lol! The fact that they camp together would really freak some people out, but I don't think twice about it.

    If they were secretive about ...cont
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:09 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • cont...their relationship or what they did, I would not feel as comfortable. If they were single and going out to bars with each other, I probably would not feel as comfortable. If they excluded me, I would not feel as comfortable. It is definitely the type of people they are that contributes to my level of trust. That goes for my LP as well...if he wanted to go hang out at bars with the girls, drink, and hide text messages or something, I would probably be upset.

    I just think it is how it is handled that makes the biggest difference.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:11 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

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