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Have you a clue?

Does anyone have a clue what the vocabulary of 'going out with' means in a 12 year olds mind??? So many of my daughter's friends 'are going out with' boys. I've asked my daughter and she says (it's not really going out Mom you just say yes or no). I don't like that yes or no to what I said? She said "going out". Round and round. Anything to worry about? You have or had it happen with your kids? Things start way... too young and with all this 'sexting stuff', cell phones, internet how can we as parents be careful? What about walking in the mall, etc?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • Going out at that age simply means that a boy and a gilr like eachother and are semi boyfriend/girlfriend; they typically go out (the mall, whatever) in a group rather than just the two of them. Honestly, most of their interaction takes place at school and maybe talking on the phone a bit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • When I was that age we were "going out" but we never actually went out anywhere... Maybe we would meet at the school dance or sit together for class... But nothing beyond that really. Although I was "going out" with one guy for a few years and we did eventually actually date, but at that age it's rather innocent.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:22 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • my dd 13 is "going out" with a boy at school and its such a small school the only thing to worry about is her cell phone (which is monitored daily) and from what i understand it just means the are "hanging" together at school and maybe sitting together at lunch, because they've never been anywhere else kinda like puppy love when we where kids, and as long as you monitor them and so does the school i dont see anything wrong with it...

    Answer by cara124 at 10:24 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • "going out" in teen-speak means "boyfriend/girlfriend"...not necessarily that they actually get to go out on dates or anything.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:30 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • At 12, I would tell her that she is much too young to think of boys in any other way than just male varieties of her girl friends. I would explain to her that courting is for the sole purpose of the selection of a lifetime mate for marriage, and that her daddy and I will let her know when we think she is close to getting ready for that. In the meantime, she is to concentrate on getting good grades and learning how to discern character in both males and females, so that she will know how to choose friends wisely which will, in turn, help her when it comes time to select a mate. Tell her you understand that this is not how most parents parent today, but this is the way her parents have chosen to parent, so it may appear to others that she is a little different, but that's okay, because being different can sometimes be a very good thing. Tell her your hope for her is that she will truly enjoy her growing up years, sans drama.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:45 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Also, at the age of 12, our children went nowhere without us, except for the occasional outings with their friends' and their parents who held the same ideas as ours. Have you sat in the malls and witnessed the behavior of the pre-teens and teens? My grandchildren are not allowed to go there without parents or grandparents with them.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:48 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • "Goin out" is a term used to say boyfriend/girlfriend - but it doesn't really mean anything. When my son was about 12 (my oldest) he said he was going out and I said what do you mean - where are you going with her...and he said no where. So I said what is you do together that makes you boyfriend/girlfriend - you don't go on dates and don't talk to each other...he said oh we just play kick ball.
    My youngest is 12 and will be 13 in a couple weeks, its the same thing for him. The main difference is they have cell phones now, and the conversations consist of: Her "What are you doing" Him : "Nothing" Her "Oh Okay" Him "Yeah"
    That's it...nothing more. They hang out at our house to play baseball or kick ball outside in my front yard with other neighborhood kids, its innocent. I think because they see the older kids with relationships and try to emulate. I just remind my boys there is no need for serious relationships.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:26 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • In middle school, that would be talking to each other and maybe sitting together at lunch and that's about it.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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