Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Anyone having trouble getting their adult children (early 20s) out of the house?,!

 
izmy64

Asked by izmy64 at 11:30 AM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Honestly, no. My 24yo left the house at almost 18 for college & while he was only 30 min. away he lived on campus for his 1st year & then he joined the Army and lived away for 5 years. He's now back in the town we live in but he only stayed with us for 3 weeks while he found his own place to live. My 23yo moved out at 18 & moved to another state at almost 20. My 20yo and my 19yo sons both graduated last May and my 20yo left for the Army a month before he turned 20 and my 19yo is in college 1 1/2 hours away. Our 24yo comes over 1-2 times a week for supper, our 23 & 20yo sons call just about every night to say hi & our 19yo calls every day to say hi and comes home on school breaks and every other weekend we go visit him and take him out to movie and supper. They were raised to be indepdent but they still keep us in their lives :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • If you don't want them to behave like kids, then don't treat them like kids. Law down the law on behavior. At 20 years old, a child is more than old enough to be working somewhere. They are also more than old enough to be out of the house. Tell them they must pick up after themselves OR pay a maid fee (and make it steep). I feel that there is a time for all children to leave, but I also believe that too many have coddled their children so that they don't have the skills to successfully leave and make their own home.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • When I was in my ealry 20's there was no way I could afford to leave on my own and could not find a responsible person to room with, that's why I didn't leave although trust me, I wanted to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Oh I sympathize! I've got an 18 yr old on a rampage lately.............sigh. You can look at my profile and see my first question I ever posted regarding tough love - I believe in it and I stand by it. Don't know your situation but if you legally need to do it in your state serve them with their 30 day notice and lovingly push them out of the nest OR start charging rent and giving them duties to contribute to the household. If they are not in school and not working, then you need to kick the tough love in. Good Luck Mama!
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 11:33 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I have a 23 year old at home, and he can stay as long as he needs to, I would never kick him out of his own home, this home will always be home for all of my three!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:34 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • It's not really a behavior problem, I love my kids, but I am tired of them behaving like kids! This is not a hotel.
    izmy64

    Comment by izmy64 (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree you won't get much support on here - PM me if you need support!
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 12:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • If they want to share your house as a fellow adult, then they need to be acting like it. Doing their share of housework and paying their share of the bills. Don't treat them like your dependents anymore and if they can't deal with it, then tell them that they're welcome to find another place to live.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:37 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Buy some new locks,and after the date you decide that they have to move out, have their crap on the porch and LOCK that door, mama! Also have some frozen margarita in the fridge and celebrate your freedom!
    purplerobin

    Answer by purplerobin at 12:03 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Thank you all, annoy gave the beat answer. I raised them to be independent. I want them to have their lives, with me in it, not it. I want them as friends, not children. I will always be mom, and cherish that relationship, I just want my life back. These answers really scare me, as I didn't realize there were so many helicopter moms out there. You scare me! Thanks anon.
    izmy64

    Comment by izmy64 (original poster) at 8:58 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN