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8 Bumps

Breastfeeding moms are "self righteous"?

I was reading some comments on another posters question, and one mom described breastfeeding mothers as "self righteous". I have breastfed my son, and will breastfeed my new baby when he/she arrives, and do not consider myself "self righteous" in any way. I am the first person in my family since my grandmother to breastfeed, and have had to endure some pretty ignorant comments from all the bottle feeders among my family and friends. Some of them include "It doesn't make any difference" "Its the same stuff" "It takes forever" "It hurts too much" " It takes over your life" "The Dad can't bond with the baby". I'm sorry, bottle feeders, but most of these statements are completely wrong. It makes a difference in many ways, including giving your child 6 mos. of great immune boosters. It is NOT the same stuff, not even close. Even the new formula by Gerber with all the probiotics in it is totally different than breastmilk. Breastmilk is different not only every day, but with each feeding. And with each feeding, the baby recieves different milk at the beginning than at the end. At the start of the feeding, the foremilk ( a thin, watery looking milk) comes and satisfies the baby's thirst, then as the baby nurses longer the milk gets richer and satisfies his hunger. It is easily digested, keeps the baby from having diaper rash, and almost never causes "spitup". As for the "It takes up your whole life " people, it is so much quicker and easier than bottle feeding. You simply pick the baby up and they latch on. No getting out of bed, turning on the lights, measuring and mixing the formula, warming bottles, and so on. Most of the night feedings I never even had to get out of bed. Simply stayed under my covers and laid baby next to me and we both dozed while he fed. Whenever we went places we didn't have to lug a bunch of stuff, just diapers :)
The people who say that it hurts are correct. It was INCREDIBLY painful for me to breastfeed the first two months. It took a lot of support from my husband and a lot of ignoring other people to get through it. I am proud of my descision to breastfeed and give my baby the best start he could have. If that makes me "self righteous" I don't care, but I dont' think I am. My sister, who bottle fed her three kids, is still mad at me for "showing her up " by breastfeeding when she didn't. It was MY descision, and I made the one that I felt was best for my baby, and I can and will do it again.
My husband has a perfect bond with our son, in spite of only having fed him two bottles (both of breastmilk btw). There is no truth to the saying that the Dad can't bond with the baby if they don't bottle feed. There are so many other things Daddy can do, rock him, cuddle him, put him to bed, get him out of bed and bring him to Mommy, then bring him back to bed after the feeding.
So all of you bottle feeding moms who answer this post just so you can bash breastfeeding moms, read all of the above before you answer, educate yourselves about breastfeeding and breastmilk and all the studies that show its benefits, then decide if you are answering with a negative comment because you feel guilty about not breastfeeding. You made your descision, let other moms make theirs. I have NEVER said anything bad about bottle feeding moms, or bottle fed kids. The simple truth is that breast is best, and all the doctors, scientists, and animals of nature know it. And you know it too, thats why you are all pissed off at us breastfeeding moms.
I started this out with one thought in my head, then ended a little angry, remembering all the bashing and negativity I have gotten for being a breastfeeding mother. Why can't bottle feeding moms just leave us alone?
P.S. Going anon, though I am proud of my choices, because I don't want to have to dump a second cafe mom account due to the rude private messages I know I would get, becasue I've gotten them before.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • Why can't bottle feeding moms just leave us alone?

    For the same reason those who choose to breastfeed, put those who don't down.....

    Answer by older at 12:08 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I dont think ALL of them are. it does along with the same argument as religion.. topic should be untouchable. breast may be best but the Mom is the final call and no amount of bullying can change their mind. just give the facts (which every OB/GYN will at the appointment) and leave it.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:08 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I think that people on both side of the arguement need to cool it. I would never bully anyone b/c they don't formula feed, and I wouldn't appreciate anyone giving me crap for not breastfeeding. I support all moms in their decisions as long as they are taking care of their children! Everyone isn't going to make the same choices as me, and I'm cool with that. I did what was best for MY family and I'm glad you're doing what is best for YOUR family.

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 12:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • This is way too long of a rant to read, sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I breastfed.  I did what I felt like was best for MY OWN children.  If that makes me self righteous then so be it. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:08 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I'm a breastfeeding mom and I in no way think that I'm better than anyone else. I support anyone's decision to breastfeed or formula feed as long as that child is getting fed. Nobody should have to feel badly for the way they feed their child because every mom out there is just trying to do the best that she can for her baby. Some women need to get off their high horses. I'm not going to sit there and spew facts or studies to people, anyone with half a brain can find out that info themselves by Googling.

    Answer by Nanixh at 12:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Seriously? I have 5 kids all of whom I nursed. This does NOT make me any better than a bottle feeding mom. I do not understand why this continues to be a bash fest. I mean really, who CARES????? Do what is best for yourself and kids and leave it alone.

    Answer by salexander at 1:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I breastfed my daughter past age 2, and I think you do sound a bit self righteous. Who cares about what other people think about your personal, private parenting decisions? You are obviously convinced you made the right choice (and for the record, I agree with you about breastfeeding), so why should you care what anyone says? And not all bottle feeders are feeling guilty for not doing like you for god's sake. That's the sort of self righteous comment they are talking about.

    Answer by soflashelley at 10:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I don't believe they're all self-righteous. What DOES classify as self-righteous is when a breast-feeding mom knocks a formula-feeding mom for her choice, whatever the reason. Let your friends and family make their own decisions. If they knoc you for yours, ignore it. Don't let it bother you. It will only make you angry and resentful. Why waste your energy on that?

    Answer by Renee3K at 12:12 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I've said every single thing you've said and NEVER have gotten ONE rude comment to my account.

    Cheers to you, dear.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:09 PM on Mar. 22, 2011