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What would you do to help your eleven year old son who has anxiety, make new friends or reach out to old ones?

My son has also been teased a lot at school and doesn't handle rude comments well. He is
a very kind boy who isn't the rough and tumble type. He is struggling to reach out and be sociable and I fear it will adversely affect him in another couple years. HELP!

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Asked by anewmom3811 at 12:30 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (45 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • What about putting him into an art or science class where he may find more kids that he has more in common with.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:32 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Get him into therapy, if you can . . . or sign him up with the school counselor. 11 year olds are soooooo great i therapy, especially learning about communication and socialization . . . you will probably notice an improvement with just a few sessions.

    Also, try to pinpoint what your son's particular "talent" is and get him engaged in that activity after school. he will likely find kids like himself to bond with. Also, it is really helpful for him to have a broader goal and life focus outside all of that stressful social school stuff.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • well my cousin is the same way and one of the ideas i had for his mom was to enter him into karate classes which help some kids deal with their fears...karate is not about hurting people its about structure...also you can have a small gathering at your home and invite some kids over to mingle and have good safe fun and your son might open up alittle more because he is in a surrounding he knows, alot of cities have young scientist of america clubs, or what about boys scouts...

    Answer by mztxdelta at 12:36 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • If he has a legitimate anxiety issue I would get him counseling from a professional who could help him figure out ways to deal with a legitimate issue.

    If he was just being shy, nervous, etc... then I would put him in the possition to succeed by helping him find things he is good at and signing him up for classes in that area.  I would teach him to deal with comments... comments should NEVER stop you from living.

    I think it is a shame to live your life 'shy' (for lack of a better word).   I dont mean to be disrespectful but life is a big full one time chance... and to sit in the corner is a complete waste... you need to face it head on and grab all the fun and opportuntities there are... I have ALWAYS taught my kdis that.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Your son was me as a kid. try to get him into sports or clubs where there are chances of other kids like him or kids who can help him develop socially.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:36 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My son will be 11 in two days :)
    He too has some social issues...a little different from what your describing from your son but some of the same.
    To help my son out, I have him signed up for sports like basketball for some social interaction. Is there something your son enjoys? Whether it be sports(basketball,baseball,karate,football,boating,etc),art,writing...anything like that..maybe sign him up for something?
    Or get a membership to your local rec center where he's bound to have fun and have some interaction with other kids. Or maybe if you join a church with a youth program for his age? They are generally usually all very nice friendly people.
    My son was having some he didnt know HOW to talk to people..he always sounded kinda I did a roll play with him, we pretended to be on phones and I would call him up and mimic how he sounded and then show him how he should sound. It ended up being reall

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:37 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • y funny,lol. We were laughing so hard our bellies hurt and I had tears coming out of my eyes. But it worked, I heard him talking to a friend on the phone the other day and he was a lot nicer. But in your case maybe it would help..just to show your son HOW to open up a little and to know what to say to other kids.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:39 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Be his friend and encourage him to chat with you as much as he can. Make him more confident. Ask him what he likes about you as a mom and you too reciprocate to him by saying nice things about him. Next time when you go shopping take him along and ask him to get the billing done at the counter though you will be there. These things are surely gonna help....

    Answer by AnuMeha at 12:48 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Counseling to help him overcome his anxiety and learn ways to be more social. It helped my son. Also, get him in clubs or sports that interest HIM. Give him the skills to make new friends.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My son has always been able to make friends, but has struggled with feeling "different" and has dealt with some teasing due to his learning disabilities and struggles in school. He played football last year and although it was his first year, he caught on quickly and really felt like he was part of something. I agree with the other answers, find something that is his "niche" whether it's the arts, music, sports, martial arts... even if it isn't immediate, he will begin to feel like a part of something and hopefully make friends who have a common interest. GL! :)

    Answer by papayaprincess at 10:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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