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Why do men think that when they tell their wife that they (wife) are turning into their mom,

then say 'I didn't marry your mom, I don't want to be married to your mom'. Then look at you like 'what did I do wrong?' And think it's not gonna hurt? He says that because he's so unhappy at work that he feels animosity towards me at home. Because I don't work and I'm not in school. I'm trying to get into school. But I can't get into the program we want me to get into. And he doesn't want me to go for a fast one so that I CAN work. Says I may as well work at Wal-mart. I do something he's said for a long time I should/need to do, then gets upset with me for finally doing, now I feel like a total dirtbag, and he doesn't understand why. I've told him exactly why, so he understands, but I don't think he gets it. If he does, then he must just not care. He's said he's sorry, he's an asshole. But not that he didn't mean it. Now, I have that cold feeling inside, and my chest hurts. I cry off and on. And he hates that, too. He says he's not allowed to be made in our relationship, but I'm not either. I'm not allowed to be sad or upset either.
Things are normally good between us. We were doing great. Now, not so much. Now, what the world I though we had, doesn't seem to be. And I feel alone. He's supposed to be my best friend, but it feels like he's sick of me, as everyone gets sooner or later. IDK why I ever bother trying getting to know anyone.
LOL, this would have been a journal, except those can't be anon.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • my hubby never told me that he knows better

    Answer by monteza3 at 12:48 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My DH too never says that...... It's immature on your DH's part to act so. Talk to him about this. Have a polite conversation with him....

    Answer by AnuMeha at 12:52 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I'd tell him it must be because he's acting like your dad!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I have gotten that c**p a few times, it made me sooooo upset, I slept on the couch and starting coming up with an exit plan. That kind of talk always seems to enter the marriage when we have a young one who is needing alot of attention. I have come to conclude that my husband sometimes gets jealous of the kids getting my attention, but he is unaware and wouldn't vocalize that even if he were.

    I wound up being very honest with him. I told him that his behavior toward me made me feel judged, worthless, unloved, and lonely. I told him that I wasn't happy . . that I really missed having a partner . . . I really missed him.

    Something about that made him a little more aware, he apologized and has been a lot nicer. We are really enjoying each other's company right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • have you thought about telling him 'you're turning into your dad?' lol

    seriously, I'd tell him how you feel, and ask him to be more specific about what is bothering him.


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • First of all, not everyone eventually gets sick of another. That's your first downfall for believing that. Those who fail at relationships are those who let everything get to them, which brings the relationship down. Are those who aren't willing to work through the problems to get to the "greener grass".

    Secondly, your husband doesn't understand because he's already made up his mind as to how things should be. He wants you to have something by now, but even when you get it it's not good enough for him. That's HIS problem not yours. You shouldn't have to comply with his demands if he's not willing to work with you to achieve what's best for you BOTH. What you do in your life is your choice, husband or no husband, and that is something that YOU should decide. Don't go to school for anything but what you want to, don't get a job that you don't want, and don't live a life you're not completely happy with.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • The thing is, we like the song from Pink, F*ing Perfect. I downloaded it, the version not played on the radio, the one with f*ck in it. And I watched the video for it and realized it WASN'T about what I thought it was. I thought it was from a girl to her guy. But it's not. The video made me cry. I had him watch it, and he said 'that's you'. It is me. It made him cry, too. So, WTF is he being such an asshole to me now? And think I'm supposed to just get over it? Some women are the type that don't let that sort of thing bother them, it just rolls of their back. Not me, I'm more sensitive then that. Which he knows.
    On one hand, he likes that I'm sensitive, the other, not so much. It's like he can't make up his damn mind. He will say something, and when I take it a different way then he meant it, it's my fault. Normal people will apologize for it coming out the wrong way. He will not. Yet God forbid I say something hurtful.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I really wish I would journal as anon!!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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