My husband received a phone call last week from a woman he had a one night stand with in 2006. This was before we even met and he knew nothing about her. He was drunk, they met at a party, and although he says he believes he was careful, he is not sure. After talking to the woman just yesterday, she is now claiming that her soon to be four year old daughter is asking about her father and she has contacted my husband advising him that he is the dad. My husband is devestated. We just had our first child together less than a year ago, him believing he had no others, and we have had nothing but joy. We have a wondeful family. He has accepted my six year old from my first marriage as his. I am so hurt and can't help but feel betrayed, even though I know this was before we even met. We have been married for almost two years and I've previously been divorced. We don't want to go down the divorce road but I feel this bombshell that was dropped on me will tear us apart. I know this is all news to my husband. Again, he is devestated and it's a horrible sight seeing a grown man in tears regretting this whole thing.
We decided that we will go about getting a paternity test but being that my husband has no connection to this child, was never told anything and never talked to the woman after the one night stand, we can't help but question her motives, now after four years.
I feel selfish for focusing on how I feel because my husband would never want to tear our family apart much less hurt me. I just can't get past this though. I thought we had something special with him having a baby this past year, the first grandbaby of his family. But now, I feel that this makes our experience, not so special. I just don't know where to go, have a range of emotions--- sometimes I just want to hold him and let him cry, other times, I just want him to not be in the house. Mind you, he just found out this news yesterday afternoon. I'm all over the place and don't know what to do or how to control my feelings. I can't help but cry.
My husband feels like because he has no connection to this child and does not want to destroy our family (he believes from mutual friends that she is "drama") that he wants nothing to do with the woman and the child, and is wanting to relinquish his rights.
Any suggestions or advice? Please!!!
Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by febmom007 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by Auntiemom410 at 5:29 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by tnm786 at 5:29 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 5:30 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by vbruno at 5:30 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by Auntiemom410 at 5:32 PM on Mar. 22, 2011
Answer by mamawilbur at 5:32 PM on Mar. 22, 2011