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How do I get my 11 year old to face his action in the right way!

I have tried everything, but the kid can have a fast mouth to talk back, have to tell him ten or yell 4 him to do things. He is a real good kid he needs to grow up though it's time 4 a little growth!!! HELP!!!!!

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lovelife29

Asked by lovelife29 at 8:59 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I've worked with kiddos of all sorts for about a decade, and the only advice I can give is to be consistent. Set very clear rules and boundaries, sit down and talk about them often, and enforce them with very predictable consequences. Be sure your son knows and understands that if he does anything outside of your limitations, he can surely expect a consequence such as no computer, no phone, no video games, extra chores, no friends over, etc. Don't give in or ignore behavior. GL!
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 9:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I'm not sure that I have any advice that can help you, but I definetely feel your pain. I struggle with the same behavior from my 11 yo son. I agree that consistency is always a good thing, but in my case even that doesn't work a lot of the time. My biggest struggle has been sticking to a punishment/consequence that I have chosen for his actions, I've noticed that when I do what I say I am going to do/take away what I've told I will take away, he tends to be a little more cooperative. Good luck... and know that you are definetely NOT alone! :)
    papayaprincess

    Answer by papayaprincess at 10:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I've found that yelling and demanding don't work with my children including my 12 year old. I've taken a completely different approach and my house has been a lot more pleasant. I've laid out the expectations and instead of yelling at them to do something or demanding it be done, I ask them when it will be done. If its not done when they committed to completing it, then I take something way - usually their freedom. For example my older son has to wash dishes, I will ask him when he plans to do them. For the last two days he's said I'll do them tonight, well this morning they are still not done. He wants to have his gf over tonight, this morning I told him if the dishes and the floor aren't washed she's not coming over. So now I have two chores that will be done without argument. No yelling at all, most times things are done when they commit, but sometimes we all get busy so I do give some leeway when we are busy.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:42 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I've just found the more I give them some control and choice, things just get done. Not only do they get done, but they get done well. They have learned that when you make a commitment to something you have to follow through, and this has carried over to what I've asked of them as well. I don't sweat the small stuff like this. I've also talked to my kids quite a bit about how much I do for them and how little I expect out of them when it comes to the things I need. Usually that does the trick too.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Mean what you say. You have to have consequences that mean something to him and then follow through. Right now I take my son's phone priveledges away when he doesnt remember how to speak respectfully he cant talk on the phone. I take it away 2 days at a time. It straghtens him right up.
    SueAnd2

    Answer by SueAnd2 at 4:28 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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