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Feeling guilty ....

My husband and I recently won (almost) $473,000 in a local lottery ... This helps us out alot and we have big plans for it ...

Where we live things are pretty cheap we were already in the process of buying a house ($ 84,000) , and now we are planning on buying newer vehicles, taking a vacation to Virginia Beach, buying things for a new house and so on....

Well i want to give our families some of the money - especially our parents.... Last year my husband lost his job for a few months and his parents basically payed our bills, and when we were first married we lived with my parents rent free , my grandparents are also very involved with us and our kids and are always doing things for us....

Obviously that is alot of money, my husband has a good job now and I think we should give each of our parents atleast $15000 and then give my grandparents about$5000 , and then give both of our brothers like $2000 each...

My husband however who really was always stingy with money thinks its crazy to "give out" that much money ( he said $5000 for our parents MAX and just wants to buy our brothers a gift) ... I dont think it is that much considering how much we have, and also our families know how much we are getting and for as much as they have done I still feel like they need more than what I want to give them .... and I just feel like they would think we were being selfish for not giving them hardly anything ....

I mean I know I can guilt my husband into giving them how much i want to give them... but really is it just me or is that really being selfish considering all they have done for us ( and still do for us ) .... UGGH .. I just want to smack him !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • At least 1500 IMO to your parents, they would know that you truly appreciate what they have done for you and its a nice reminder that you havent forgotten.
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 10:02 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I wouldn't give cash to my siblings either...I'm with your hubby on that. I wouldn't push him to give more than he wants either. If your parents NEED financial help I'd say 10k is fair. Otherwise 5k each is a fun chunk to receive and get to play with.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:03 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Don't forget about the taxes that your parents would have to pay on the money. You can give 10000 as a gift without having to pay taxes. That is just some useless info for you.

    Congrats and good luck.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:04 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • My dad recently won the lottery. Please send me a message and I will tell you what I know
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Wow, congratulations!! What an awesome "problem" to have! LOL. If it was me and my family (*sigh* *dreams* ) I'd give them money if they need the money. But it they are in a position where they are financially stable, then a "thank-you for being there when we needed you" gift would be more appropriate and maybe you could use some of the money to help out a friend or relative who's hit hard times? That's how it is in my family. We help out but rather than returning the favor to the giver of the favor, you pay it back by giving to someone else who needs a hand. Everyone agrees that works out better for everyone involved, but you might need to explain the philosophy to your parents and DH.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 10:06 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Congrats on your win!! I see both sides of this, and I question you thinking that small amount as being ALLOT of $$ these days. If you give any member of the family more than $9999. in a ONE year period THEY have to pay TAX on that money. You've got $108000. You want to give away already. Thats nearly a 1/4 of your win. Give some if you want, but you could really take care of your and your husbands retirement in one fell swoop and still have money left to supplement your life.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:06 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • i think you should give them money
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 10:06 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Well the reason i wanted to give them so much ( I didnt know about the 10000 - tax thing) ... is because my dad will probably loosing his job -- my mom is a nurse but they would never beable to pay for their things just on her paycheck ( they have a farm plus thier jobs) and they are always worried about money...... my husbands parents actually have alot of money coming in ( upwards of $6000 / month) ... BUT my MIL wants to retire so they wont even be making half of that, and they just adopted my husbands brothers kids, sooo I just feel like it would be nice for them...

    I definatly want to give something to our brothers... I am very close to my brother and he and his girlfriend are about to have their first baby ( and he works 2 jobs) soo I think it would be nice to give them some $$$ to atleast buy the baby things... AND then my husbands brother - his wife just left him in December ( for a woman lol ) and
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • *** he needs to find his own place and vehicle ...

    I just think that i feel guilty that our families who we love very much are having these problems and yet we were given this financial gift ( right after my husband got his great job ) ....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:20 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I think 5k, for ea. of your parents is good. I don't know about siblings. Also you need to think carefully how you're gonna spend your money, you don't just want to blow it off. You'll need it later on. Save as much as you can, you can never have too much savings.
    emmasmama2007

    Answer by emmasmama2007 at 10:21 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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