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3 Bumps

So I guess I am Selfish

I admit that I have a great life that most people dream of, but I want more and I am not happy and I am considering leaving my husband.

We have been married for 8 years, and he still treats me like a queen. I know how much he loves me, he tells me and shows me everyday. We have 3 beautiful daughters who all act well ( between the 3 of them I can only remember maybe 5 times when they have "been bad" ) . We have a huge nice house and my husband makes good money and I get to stay home. I am able to pretty much do as I please , there has been several occasions when I can call him at work and he will come home so I can go get my hair done or take a nap .

It sounds like a dream, but I am not happy with it. I just have the urge to go away for awhile, I want a man who is "rougher" , i want some passion ( that is hard to have when you just have a man who follows you like a puppy dog) . Does anyone know what i mean ?
I am only 32, could this be a midlife crisis ( I always assumed for my midlife crisis i would just have some extensive plastic surgery or something) ............. I am just so confused !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Human beings actually thrive on conflict and on "getting through hard times" so when life is all peachy and the good times last too long, it is normal and natural to seek out something more. You're not selfish. You are human. But you need to make damn sure you know what you are risking, if you turn away from it. You may never get this life back, and it sure does sound nice. Why don't you and the family go for a trip to a thrid world country and see if there are people you can get involved with in whose lives you could make a real difference? Find a purpose for your life without leaving your lovely home and family.

    Answer by judimary at 10:36 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • get over yourself..go volunteer in a homeless shelter or give it all up and go live in a 135 dollar a week motel then ask yourself the same thing.what i am saying is your complaining about your "wonderful" life while real ppl out there suffer..ur suffering is superficial it seems to me what u need is a good dose of the real world..not trying to be harsh. and u dont want a rougher man just one more assertive..rough=abusive..

    Answer by bethany0199 at 10:42 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree with judimary. Be careful, you could do something that you regret for the rest of your life. Your needs aren't the only ones that have to be considered here either, what about those 3 children? A divorce changes their lives forever as well, and they have no say.

    Why not talk to your husband, and let him know that you'd like more passion. I'd consider marriage counseling, and maybe some personal counseling. I understand the need for more than you have, that isn't selfish, even when you have a good marriage, it doesn't mean that all of your needs are being met, I'd try to get them met with your husband.

    And, I agree, find a purpose for your life. Take a look around you and appreciate what you have.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:43 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Yes I would talk to your husband first before considering to do anything, I was going threw a rough patch myself with my hubby were I thought about leaving him and he gives me everything that I ever ask for. But we talked it threw and we are stronger then ever. You need to voice your needs and concerns to have a strong lasting marriage

    Answer by njstewart07 at 10:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Your bored take a class get a job or hobby bad guys seem fun sexually and fun but they will break your heart be glad your kids don't have to take differnt days to see their parents but if you get divorced that's your furture you have no job money your will support you and kids be thankful being is'nt what you think with a kid.

    Answer by Betutah at 10:49 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree with judimary and ohwrite...they pretty much sumed it up so I'm not really going to add more except please think about what you would be risking for just a little more passion. Good luck mama

    Answer by Lucky209 at 10:51 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Happiness is a choice, pure and simple. And our feelings follow our thoughts, so when you allow yourself to think negatively, you also begin to feel negativity. The real key to happiness is not what you get from others in life; it is what you give to others that really makes one happy. Instead of being bored with the wonderful treatment you are receiving, try matching or bettering it where your husband is concerned. Get up every morning asking yourself what you can do today to make this man's life more fulfilling and then set your heart and mind on doing it. Better yet, ask him what you can do that would make his life better or easier, and then get busy doing it. Any time we focus in on ourselves and what makes us feel good, we are undercutting our chance at happiness and fulfillment. So, all you need do is to start making your husband the object of all your attention and affections, just like he does for you. Try it!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:51 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • sounds like you are just bored in general in life. Sometimes an easy life isn't always a fun life. So.. before just jumping the bridge and swimming away from your marriage find something that will work to keep your marriage together. Sounds like hubby is devoted and I'm sure with a husband like that, he'd be more than willing to help spice things up in your life. Here are some ideas:
    a part time or volunteer job. Sometimes, while we love our kids, it's nice to go out and do something for ourselves. Even going back to school might be an idea. A way to become more independent.
    Or try some fun new places to visit or things to do... be a little wild.. maybe a difficult hiking trail, or an extreme amusement park.. or try something new like going to a gun range or take a cooking class together.. anything that is just you and him time that is new and different.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Is your husband older than you ? I am curious.

    Answer by LeJane at 11:27 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Why not find a new hobby to persue or even a career? You could go back to school, take a few online classes, find something you're passionate about, GL

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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