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What would you do? Phone call from sister-in-law

My sil was watching my kiddos for me while I work. Her and mil would switch off and on Tue/Wed. Last week mil wanted to have the kids overnight so I called sil to cancel and say mil will have them. The call was a bit uncomfortable with long silences. I was confused by her reaction of being hesitant to just say OK, no problem. The same thing this week, mil wanted the kids overnight since it's easier for hubby and I so I call sil and she was rude, cold and short with me and said why don't I have mil watch them from now on. She seemed upset on the phone so I asked her if she was and she no, and then said bye. I'm really thrown by her reaction and not sure how to get to the issue, or if I should just let it go.

What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Luvnlife4 at 10:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (329 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Do you pay her? Was she counting on money? Otherwise I don't get it.....

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:47 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I'd be curious and confused by her reaction. Maybe she's wondering why the switch? Did you explain?

    Answer by judimary at 10:48 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I do pay her, but they don't need the money. Her hubby makes 6 figure salary and she's upper $60's herself. I just said mil wants to have them overnight. I feel bad with her reaction because she has helped us out so much, but I don't understand why she would be so mad. I thought she would be relieved since she has 4 kids of her own with so much going on volleyball, basketball, cheer, girl scouts...

    Comment by Luvnlife4 (original poster) at 10:56 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Maybe you should have a face to face talk with her and sincerely ask her why she seems so upset over what's been going on recently.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Call a spade a spade and be honest, upfront and communicate with respect. Do not be afraid to show up for your own life and don't waste time future and past tripping with negative thoughts. Just find out and don't make it a big deal. If it were me, I would show up and bring her something very special just for her. I like put together variety baskets full of love and care. ( a little lotion, candles, bath supplies, whatever) ..... :-) It will start things out on a positive note and then take it from there.

    Answer by LeJane at 11:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I think it's a mix of things.. calling last minute is probably top of the reasons. I know I HATE when my daughters' father calls last minute with a plan to do something with them, or waits until the last minute to cancel. (last minute to me is anything less than 24 - 48 hours pending on how long something was planned, etc). I arrange things accordingly, and when someone calls to cancel last minute it messes up what schedule I've had planned.
    Yes it may seem more convenient to some. But for example, say I was told my nephew is going to be here wednesdays but his mom cancels last minute.. well not only is my one daughter upset she doesn't get to see her playmate, she's also upset because we planned to do such and such activity with them and now we have to put it on hold. Yes it frees up some time for me, but it also ruins my daughters day, which means that free time just turned into find something last minute.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:25 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • it also messed up meal plans and other schedules because you have that many less people. And regardless of what you make, extra cash is always nice to have, and who knows, that could be the money she is saving for college, and most people have plenty of unpaid debt that other family members are unaware of.. if money wasn't part of the issue, she'd do it for free.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:27 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • e there is an issues going on between MIL and SIL that you don't know about. if MIL is just now asking to have the kids over maybe they had a fight and she thinks you know what is going on and thinks you are taking MIL side. I would say. "Hey I have always felt that we had a great relationship and the kids love being with you and I sense something is wrong. I don't ever want something to come between us so please lay all the cards on the table so we can fix this."

    Answer by CPRsarah at 3:31 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Maybe she had an argument with your MIL and she thinks that's why you are canceling on her. You never know.... Good luck!

    Answer by sherribeare at 5:17 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I would be confused and try to get her to talk to you as to why she is all of a sudden acting this way

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 9:40 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

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