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2 Bumps

Do you believe..

Do you believe if your heart yearns for your SO after you leave them, maybe you are supposed to stay with them?

It's probably a weird question. I left my SO but I completely forgot why and something is strongly drawing me back. My heart is absolutely YEARNING for him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Mar. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Not necessarily, sometimes we yearn for things that aren't good for us, and we forget why we left.....partially just because we don't want to remember....we want it to be okay, or to be a sign that we should be with that person whether they are good for us or not.

    On the other hand, sometimes we leave for reasons that could have been worked out.

    Only you know what really happened, and without more information, and honest information, it would be hard to give good advice. Don't make the same mistake twice...
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:57 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I basically left because we had alot of arguements. We've been going threw alot of financial issues lately that caused the fights. I don't really see that as a reason to leave for good but in the heat of the moment, I broke it off. Maybe I'm just regretting it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Many times we go back out of fear of being alone or not wanting to start over. Sometimes it's a self esteem thing or even co-dependence. There is also the Relationship Addiction possibility. Every time my x comes back I tell him to remember why he left. I have not changed. Over time we forget important things like why we left.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • A lot of arguments is a problem, and depending on the financial issues, that can be a real problem. If you have children, going back and forth and giving them mixed messages won't be good for them.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:09 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Once you make up a direction and a plan, you need to stick with it no matter what .. Every time you have an impulse or memory control issue, like it takes you over, it's not... You aren't going to be instantly fixed. The decision is very important of why you chose it. The real reasons you put emphasis on your own choices and new way of leaving past and going on, is the base point or very lowest place you should ever remember. Don't be unfaithful or mistake it for depression. You can go forward and be comfortable in new ideas and different things. Keep busy, Write down recipes, don't react to every phone call (from anyone). Quit listening and start focusing.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 11:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Pain is a great motivator. You left for a reason. Remind yourself of why you moved forward and continue on your path. Sometimes we will go back to whats familiar because the unknown is scary.

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 4:54 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • it depends on how long you feel that tugging for. if it has been years and you have been doing the things you love, and you feel really content in your life, then all of a sudden your ex pops in your head, then maybe give it another shot. if its only been a week, id say give it time. everything happens for a reason.
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 5:00 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Sometimes we later only remember the good stuff and if we're prone to being sentimental................. Try and look at the past and your own feelings in a more pragmatic light. If you can live with the rows and financial problems and what you had emotionally together was really bigger than those issues, then go back. But don't kid yourself you'll find it easy to stay or won't have times you regret returning?
    quietmo

    Answer by quietmo at 9:17 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Sometimes we yearn for what once was. Your ex is something like a blanket...something comfortable. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are meant to be with one another, it means that you find something about him that you care about. You say you can't remember why you two separated? Well, first things first, look deep and hard and figure out why it is that the relationship ended. You may find that you are only romanticizing the good and are pushing back the things that made it so that you two could not work it out together in the first place. If you find that the things that once broke you two apart aren't such a big deal now, then go for it, give him a shot.
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 10:33 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

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