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Miscarriage questions (TMI) and sorry so long... adult content

I know that some say google it, but that doesn't give me IRL examples so much. I took a HPT Sunday, and it was a BFP! I was so excited! We hadnt been ttc for long, barely a month.
But then, all day Sunday at work I was cramping. I just put it off to being tired, body adjusting, etc. Well then in class yesterday, I began to bleed. Started off kinda brownish, but I decided to leave class and go to the ER, just to be safe I told myself.
I got to the hospital, and the bleeding was heavier, and now red.
I kinda knew, but was in denial.
Waited the 3 hours in the lobby before they called me to a room. Made me change into a gown, and the nurse was even asking me if this IS (not WAS) my first pregnancy, etc.
I thought maybe everything was ok.
Then the Dr came in, and told me I'd miscarried. It broke my heart. I couldn't believe it. I was there alone (DH was on his way, but we couldnt find a sitter at first. Once he found one, he came up there asap). I was crying when DH got to the room and he already knew. He was supportive, telling me these things just happen, its going to be ok, he loved me. But I felt I'd let him down, let us down somehow, because we were both so excited. I'd never had a mc JUST happen. I had one when I was 16, that happened from my ex pushing me down the stairs, but never one JUST happen. I have had 2 healthy babies. I just dont understand it. I feel I done something wrong, or my body is punishing me. I should have went home Sunday from work when I was cramping. I just feel like I should have known something wasn't right.
Now I want a baby worse than ever. Is that wrong? I didnt really expect to concieve as fast as I did, but I was so excited that I did. Now I just keep thinking if I got pregnant again, it may fix this sudden emptiness I feel. But then I feel like I'm over-reacting because I'd only had the positive pregnancy test the day before. BUT I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT a few weeks ago. I FELT it. I FELT different. I KNEW, but had to wait the right amount of time before taking the test to prove it.
How long should I wait to try again? The dr said 3 months, but surely that's just because they want me to "heal" emotionally. I don't think I will unless I can get pregnant again. But what if I MC again??? Does one mc make me now prone to them? I'm scared now. I want a baby, but now I'm terrified. I have so many emotions going through me, that I'm unsure of what to think. Any one have any advice on this subject? ANY AT ALL?

Answer Question

Asked by sissy4444 at 4:54 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

Level 12 (756 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • sounds like you had a chemical miscarraige - the egg gets fertilized and begins dividing, but the body rejects it before it starts really forming organs, etc. some women don't even know they have one, just that their period is a few days late. it's not because your body is "broken" or you did something wrong. MOST women will have a chemical miscarry. it's just the body's way of saying, oops, let's try again.
    as far as feeling bad about it, can i tell you i know EXACTLY how you feel. i've been baby hungry for ages, and in january we were positive. i ran a fever that night, and started bleeding two days later. i was so heartbroken. i was in physical pain, and emotional pain. i felt exactly like you describe. trust me when i say that there is nothing wrong with the way your are feeling. give yourself some time to heal. your body knows what it is doing. you will heal. you'll be back to normal in no time.

    Answer by AngryBob at 6:57 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • the reason doctors want you to wait a while before trying again is very simple. yes, they want you to heal. but also, your body needs time to "jumpstart" your system. the way it was explained to me was that they would like you to wait and have at least one period before trying again. this is so your body can fully get back to normal, AND that you can track your next pregnancy with better accuracy. if you have no idea when you got pregnant, you'll have no idea how far along you are. it makes it easier for everyone involved.
    please realize that it can take anywhere from six to eight weeks before your next period starts. your hCK levels have to go all the way back to zero, and then you will ovulate, and then have your period. so be patient for that.
    you WILL find the strength to overcome this, i know you will. please feel free to pm me if you have any questions.

    Answer by AngryBob at 7:02 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • So sorry for your loss. If you would like you can pm me and ask anything you would like. I have had 2 misc. This does not make me an expert but I hope I can make you at least feel better. :HUGS"

    Answer by sta517 at 7:13 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • You had a chemical pregnancy. I just had one a few weeks ago, I made it to 5wks and after 10 months of trying I was so disappointed. Unfortunately, 50% of pregnancies are chemical, it is VERY common and most women don't even know it happened. It doesnt mean there was anything wrong with you or baby, it just happens. You didnt do anything to cause it. I had mine tested and everything came back completely normal, its just one of those things that almost every women goes thru at some point. Hang in there, I know its so disappointing and not fair.

    Answer by momofone221 at 7:36 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • After 1 miscarriage you are no more likely to have another one then you were before. I had mine after have 2 kids as well so I kind of know the thought process you are having right now. Nothing you would have done would have prevented it from happening.

    The 3 months is for emotional reasons I took a bit longer to be ready.  Take your time to grieve your loss maybe look around in the groups for support. 

    If you want to talk feel free to PM me.  Very sorry for your loss.


    Answer by Charis76 at 9:05 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Oh wow...I had my first mc after having 2 healthy kids with no complications TOo! One at 7 weeks and then a year later one at 13 weeks. They are SO tough and NO ONE wants to talk about it. Like its a jinx or something. I am so sorry for your loss. I will tell you that after those two I had a BEAUTIFUL healthy little boy :) He is 2 yrs old now! The hardest thing is not stressing out! Try and wait.give yourself time to mourn and then take it slowly. You can PM me too. I dont mind! Sometimes you just need to let it all OUT!

    Answer by momof030404 at 10:09 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • There is ABSOLUTLEY NO SCIENTIFIC evidence that shows there is ANY reason to wait to concieve after having a miscarriage that occured in the first trimester.

    I had a miscarriage in January at almost 6 weeks. I found out just this week that I am pregnant again with no period inbetween.

    Doctor said it is just fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • (((Hugs))). Unfortunately most early mc are due to genetic problems with the baby. There is nothing you could have done differently and nothing you did to cause this.

    Answer by Danyellimom at 1:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

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