Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What are my options? visitation issue

My daughters father has visitation. He never shows up. He randomly decided to pick her up from school on friday and kept her until sunday and brought her late and said he can bring her back whenever he wants. he has visiation tuesday/thurs and every other fri-sun. he has never exercised his rights. he picked her up from school on friday without me knowing and I couldnt get in contact with them until 6pm. he wouldnt tell me where they were. I did hear my 3yrs old voice until late sunday when I saw her. During that time he would call to torment me and say how does it feel to be without her. I have never kept my daughter from him. he knows where I live and where she goes to school. I willingly gave him thatinformation. I let him in my house to see her. Well the cops say he isnt in violation of anything. I went to court to file contempt because he brought her late and alos file for modificattion because he doesnt show up so I wanted to lessen it. But the basically said I am stupid to do that. They said how are you going to say contempy but then also modify. I said I want contemplt because he brought her late and I want to modify because he doesnt show up and I cant sit and wait all the time.

I have no one to help me. besides all that he has mental health issues.

wen to a meeting at my daughters school this morning and no one saw when she left and she want even signed out. when I got there friday they assumed she was there and I signed the sheet went looking for her and she wasnt there. today her teachers told me they walked her to afterschool, but then the after school teachers never saw her.

but with all this there is nothing I can do. I wrote a note stating not to release her to anyone other than me. but if he randomly decides to show to torment me and I refuse I would be in contempt. the law is on his side always!
when i was reunited with my daughter she kept saying sorry mommy, sorry mommy I couldnt find you. she told me she kept taking her things to go and daddy kept getting mad saying no going home.

I have no idea what my daughter went through but still nothing I can do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • why does the school not have a copy of the custody agreement so they know which days they can't release her to him without your approval?

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:13 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • If he has visitations via the court there isnt anything you can do. You can file contempt of court against him for violating the current order IF ITS BEEN SIGNED. If you are the same person who posted last week saying you had just gone to court then its possible the order is not signed yet, so the court is right, there isnt anything you can do. if you just had court as well, then again, most judges refuse to hear a modification for 6 months and y ou have to have a change in circumstances. Until you have the court order on you you can tell the school not to allow him to get your dd, and they should be watching her to know if she left the school. Id blame the school on that one. What if he had been a stranger and not dad?
    As for visits you dont have the right to know where he is with her, what shes doing etc. It sucks. But its the law. He doesnt have the right to know what you do with her either. Good luck.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:14 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • If he has Court Ordered visitation, and it was his weekend, then the school had to release her to him. When you say he returned her late, was is later than the ordered time, or is there no ordered time and that's when he was told to bring her back?

    You need to start documenting and building a case. Right now, it's a he-said, she-said, and without PROVING he doesn't take his time, then they won't limit his time with her. And until there is a limit, you can't control when he chooses to take his visitation. Yes, he should have told you. And yes, he should exercise all of it, but that doesn't mean that when he DOES exercise it, that he will get in trouble.

    Answer by laird6372 at 9:19 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Even if you take the custody agreement to the school, it's likely they would release her to him anyway because he's her father. I've run into the same issues with my kids and ex - they have a copy of the custody order but tell me they don't have the authority not to release them.
    You can file a contempt order. My ex was found in contempt for repeatedly returning them home late on Sundays. The order states he was to bring them back at 5 pm and he wouldn't bring them home until close to 8 pm.
    As far as the taunting phone calls, just ignore him - he's being childish and immature and for your child's sake you need to be the adult!

    Answer by missanc at 9:20 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Oh - if you have his email address that's a great way to contact him. Keep a copy of all message to/from him. That's how I built my child support case for court!

    Answer by missanc at 9:21 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • The school cannot! legally release her if they have a copy of the order for support and it states that he is only to have her on those days unless you say different.

    Answer by salexander at 10:51 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.