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I gave my daughter up at birth I have been looking for years can any help me?

I have been looking for mt birthdaughter for yrs I need help it was a closed adaption. I can't do this myself. I am alone and just need help finding her she will 20 in jan.

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Asked by charangel5 at 11:45 PM on Nov. 25, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (9)
  • Does she know she was adopted? I think I would try talking with the family first!

    Answer by robinalbright at 11:48 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • You should try contacting "The Locator", he helps a lot of people, I know his first name is Troy, I don't remember his website, but you can google him. He has a TV show, but not every case comes out on TV if ur concerned about that. Good Luck.

    Answer by sylvia-ann at 12:03 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • The locator is a good idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I work for an adoption agency and have quite a few resources I could help you look into. Please feel free to message me. I obviously dont know for certain that I can help you find her, but I can certainly try.

    Answer by adoptivemommy24 at 12:53 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Char, what state was she born and adopted in? Each state has its own laws concerning methods of disclosure of info, and avenues of search available. You should check (here) for what the law will allow you.

     In my state, WA, I had to be 25yo to search OR be found without my adoptive parents approval! Yeah.....I can drink, vote, marry, hold a licence, go to war.......But Heaven forbid- I want to know and meet MY Mother! I need my adoptive mommys permission! I am sick and tired of adoptees being treated as ~forever~ children in the eyes of the law!!!!!!!!!


    Answer by adopteeme at 3:23 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I would be more than happy to help you find resources to search on your own! Network with other Mothers and adoptees who have searched your state with success! I'd find search and support groups in your area. (I can help with a state by state listing) They can be of so much help- both with search, and, emotional support.

    I wish my mom had searched for me. I'd like to publicly tell you- I think you are both brave and strong for searching for your daughter. Thank you- from an adoptee.

    No more secrets ~ NO more lies.....We WANT our family Ties!


    Answer by adopteeme at 3:36 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I wanted to pass this on to you as well, in case you search one of those- HAHA - 'progressive" states that allow the use of a 3rd party - Confidential Intermediary.

    been there, done that, myself. I got a canceled check for my efforts....and my mom got a "discreet" pffffffffft knock on her door by a social wrecker!

    The Intermediary System is Not the Solution


    Answer by adopteeme at 3:45 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • The very first thing you should do is send a letter to the adoption agency you used saying you would welcome contact. Then register on ISRR (google) and at and then find yourself a search angel (google) in your state. BTW many birth moms think they don't have the right to search and that they should wait for the adoptee to find them if they want to. The truth is the risk of being rejected by their birth mothers for a second time is just too much emotion risk for many adoptees and actually it is your duty to find her. She may reject you, but better for her to reject you than for you to reject her.

    Answer by onethentwins at 9:02 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Did you regret giving her up for adoption? Or was it okay and you just want to know her all grown now ? I'm just curious.... I think you can go to the adoption place that you worked with and try to get info I think they follow up on things like that. I wish you luck especially with the holidays coming.if you could send me a message and answer the two questions that would mean a lot.

    Answer by mocamomma22 at 5:18 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

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