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5 Bumps

Did you know you are just as bad as the

bully, if you watch, ignore or don't interevene...

We need to all pull together and stop the nonsense before more kids die or kill themselves because of this behaivor...

Because a parent didn't press charges, because a parent didn't call the police when there child was verbally threatened. If we all pull together then it will slow down a lot.

Answer Question

Asked by KFree907 at 10:18 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It is the truth, as my kids principle said which I never thought about it....

    If you sit and watch someone being bullied, walk by and ignore someone being bullied and don't intervene then you are too blame too.
    Call for help if you can't, scream to leave them alone, if we don't stand up too them who the heck will?????
    I believe it.

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 10:23 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I would speak up for sure. In fact, a couple of years ago, a kid was bullying my grandson ( he was about 6) and I told the kid he was going to have to leave if he didn't stop and that I would call his Mom and tell her what he was doing. I think I scared him---LOL....being a Gramma, he didn't think I was that spunky or something. I said "You don't mess with my grandson and you tell your friends the same thing" ,and I must say I looked really angry.
    It worked, It has never happened since that day. He looks at me with caution and he is VERY careful when he sees me. HA!
    There was the risk of my daughter telling me to mind my own business and telling me that my only function was to be a "sweet Gramma" ....but I didn't care!! I stopped a bully!

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:38 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Yes Zoeyis you are a right.

    You must handle it the way you see fit....

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 10:41 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • What is really interesting is that Love and Logic stresses that parents should not intervene when a child is bullied because it's teaching the child to be weak. They lose me at that moment.

    Answer by SnapdragonSMT at 11:33 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I agree with Zoeyis too.

    But i teach my son that old "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" thing. I tell my son (age 8), if you can safely help, do so. If you cannot safely help, run and get help. But NEVER just let it happen. Never stand by and watch it happen. And never encourage it...and keeping silent is encouraging it.

    And i'm the same way. If i see something (kids or adults), i will intervene. If i have any doubts for my safety (or if i have my son and feel it would comprimise his safety), i go get help, or call for help.

    I also love the saying "for evil to prevail, all it takes is for good men to stand down"...or something like that. it's the meaning that i remember.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 11:36 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Oh that's GOOD, boobarandbell! That is so right! Bears repeating!

    I also love the saying "for evil to prevail, all it takes is for good men to stand down"...or something like that. it's the meaning that i remember

    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:09 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I was never one to stand around and watch, I would usually take the bully by the collar and tell them to knock it off or else. It was enough to scare the bully into being decent again at least when I was around

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:31 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Studies now show bullies do not have a poor self esteem or necessarily come from a "bad" home. They have an equal chance of coming from "good" homes as well as not so good ones, poor homes oriddle class. It is about gaining power, abusing it, and keeping it. What is known now to be the most helpful is when a parent is able to believe and support their child. It is helpful when a parent can advocate, with those in a position of authority at the school (church, after school program, ect...) to assist in reducing the attacks or episodes of bullying or eliminating it all together. It is the adults who have the best ability to stop bullying. Teachers, parents, bus drvers, janitors. Adults. What we know has very little impact to stop bullying: ignoring and fighting back. Both still leave tge victim open for further reprocussions. Want to end bullying? Go do it.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:59 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • And as for love and logic - yes a child should attempt to handle situations on their own. Never do for a child what they can do on their own. Very true. But when bullying can't be handled by the child no parent should sit by (or teacher) and leave a child filled with anxiety, fear, depression, sexual harassment, racist bullying, or physical assaults that wound and damage long after the bully is done. On going, relentless, brittle, and persistant attacks is not just being a kid. No matter what the age. It is being a perpertrator. That kid deserves intervention too.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:06 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • AMEN to that! My kids school have a no bully policy and they stick to it. I have been bery please the way the principal and teachers handle it. My child has been on both sides. having a hard time adusting to public school. She was dealth with too. She didn't do it again, lol. I was glad.

    Answer by Baby4us09 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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