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Pickup on a non visitation day

my daughters father opicked her up from school and did not notify me. He nevers follows the vistiaion order and at the time. I rusehed to the calendar adn thought it was a visitaion day. I t just looked and mappedf everything out and it WAS NOT. He had her from fri-sun and did not let me soeak to her. the police told me if it was not a visitation day then it was kidnapping. at the time I thought it was. since he never comes I do not what the schedule is. what can i do now?

am i out of luck becuase its too late and I thought i was a visiation order. the cops were invvoled because he did not tell me he picked her up and did not notify me and snuck her out the school. I did not have contact or heard my daughters voice for 3 days. he did it to spite me and now what can i do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • First of all, make sure the school allows you and only you to pick her up from now on. And talk to your judge to have the visitation revoked since he kidnapped your child.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • All you can do is document his erratic behavior and lack of following the court order and take him back to court so the judge can explain it to him in NO uncertain terms.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Notify the school, and provide a copy of the order. They will have to verify with you that he is able to pick her up. Other than preventing it again, there isn't a thing you can do.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • You can call the cops. It's not his visitation day. He picked her up from school without you knowing. He is breaking the law.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 10:29 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Your school should have a copy of your visitation order, if it isn't visitation day he doesn't get her, why is he even on the pick up papers???? My ex doesn't even think about getting his son without talking to me first...you bet your bottom I would have called the police had someone come and taken my child without my permission.... but yes if it is over and done with and she is home there is nothing you can do about it..next time call the police and report her missing.... also....contact your attorney, and make sure you document what happened so if you end up going back to court you can give it to the attorney.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 10:30 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I would let the school know, they can not let your child leave if you have an order. 1# let your attorney know what is going on, and if you don't have an attorney keep notes of everything.

    I would try to speak to him, ask him are you trying to not see your child alone you must follow the rules or they might appoint court visitations. I like that you want to see her/him but you must let me know and not just pop up....
    If he is not reasonable you have to do what you must do, let the police know and keep it movin...
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I hope you are documenting everything. A paper trail is worth a million dollars in cases like this. Put date, time, what happened and where. If he doesn't show for regular visitation, document that, too. Keep a calendar-type documentation. Or get a calendar with big squares that you can write in. If more room is needed for documentaion, add a seperate sheet of paper for the notes. Keep it with the calendar. You won't be sorry.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 10:38 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • It is your business to make sure you know the schedule whether he sticks to it or not. If there is a court order, then the school needs a copy in order to legally NOT release her to him spur of the moment or without your prior concent.
    Pay attention to the schedule and if it happens again, call the police. It is up to YOU to know what is going on in her life, and to make sure he doesn't get away with this kind of thing. He is counting on your inattention to get away with this.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:42 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • You're right he should've notified you. Does he hurt her? Is she afraid of him? Does he return her on time? Does he pay his child support? Maybe make it a point to say you don't mind if he gets her early as long as all the above questions are good and if it no longer interferes with her schooling, what's the big deal?
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:43 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I agree with the others, make it known to the school that he is NOT to pick up the child unless it is 'his' day,document everything he has done- all the non-scheduled pickups not allowing you to speak to child on phone... and contact your lawyer and let him/her know what is going on and ask them what can legally be done about this situation. I would also call the police and tell them he took the child.
    Also I would ask the lawyer about taking him back to court about the visitation issue. Since he pulled this stunt and is not following a schedule it it in your rights to cancel his visitation or request that the court make it a supervised visitation? I would also ask that the court tell him that he CANNOT have the child except on 'his' days and then ask that the court set a visitation schedule for him to follow.
    Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:43 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

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