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Is it strange that my family wants to have a memorial service for my Dad & ...

Later that night my sisters and brother want to take us to Disneyland and California Adventure?
I mean weird in the way we were grieving and then going into a happy environment?
I had all year to grieve as my Dad passed last year. But do I really want to go through it again?
I know too many questions, but my flight tickets are non-refundable. I am actually more nervous as the time comes closer. Especially since I am expected to speak at my Dad's memorial.

Answer Question

Asked by idaspida at 10:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,744 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Yes too me just a little but everyone grieves in diffrent ways.

    I would go on the trip and enjoy....

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:39 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • My grandma passed in October, 4 days before we were set to leave for Disneyworld with our 5 year old.

    We went anyways and missed the memorial service. We had my grandpa's blessing, he thought that us spending our time together as a family was the best way to honor my grandma. There is nothing wrong with still having a good time.

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:40 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Everyone deals with death in a different way - I think their intention is probably to celebrate his life and then do something memorable as a family - which is a great intention. Perhaps in their vigor to try to turn a sad day into a positive bonding family memory they are forgetting that emotionally everyone may not be able to process the day in this way. Did your Dad enjoy Disneyland? Since you've had time to grieve and this is a memorial do you think you can possibly honor his memory by having a nice evening with your family? If not then I think you just need to be honest with them and let them know "while I appreciate what you are trying to do - I just cannot emotionally handle going to Disney after the memorial". I wish you peace and give you hugs!

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 10:42 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • We had my grandmas and then went to Disneyland. Everyone figured if they didnt want to go they didnt have to. If you are not comfortable with it, then dont go.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:52 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Thanks for the advice and examples. I am going to go have a good time. I guess after all it would be a celebration of my Dad's life. And to have a good time won't hurt anyone. It would probably hurt my Mom if I did not participate in the family activites.

    Comment by idaspida (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I don't believe in memorial services, because I don't believe we should mourne the person. I believe we should celebrate their life and the fact that we had the experience we did with them. I think it's a great idea to go to Disneyland. Celebrate that you're alive to live on the teachings, memories, and experiences that they passed on to you. Celebrate that you get to continue with the rest of your family and celebrate that you had the moments you did with the person who has passed. Allow yourself to be happy and enjoy yourself!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:44 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • A memorial doesn't necessarily HAVE to be about mourning. My G'pa's was about celebrating his life, how he lived it & shared it with all of us. I think it wouldbe good to enjoy the fun adventures with the family. We have so many sad & serious times in our lives. Partake in some fun ones. I think your Dad would have wanted you to do it that way. He would rather see his DD happy then to see her sad.

    Answer by specialwingz at 11:40 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

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