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4 Bumps

Would you be mad if your husband went a doctor about you behind your back? Read question and will understand it all.I sure need the advice I can get.

Nothing wrong with me except my marriage. We went to a marriage cousler once and that did not work. I will not go together since I have to come home with him. He does swear and throw things when get mad. Not at me or the girls but just the floor or at the couch. So went to doctor behind my back about a therpy place. I called the doctor and they said he wants some to tell if depressed but nothing wrong except for the man I married and so he just wants someone to see me. But why the secert and not come to me. we have three girls to consider. If the other people did not help then why some one new and a secert about everything? How you feel? I am so confused and do not even know if want to say married. Plus he will try for awhile and then right back the same way. Not just with me but with his kids. He does have control issues. Also another problem is why does he watch the money and only gives me enough to shop once a week and that is it. I am a housewife but he says I do nothing and he works so his money. I have no family or friends around me. what would you do? how would you feel? anyone been here before where I am? Thanks for listening.

Answer Question
 
momindiana

Asked by momindiana at 11:49 AM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,326 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Wait, he called a doctor to have someone see you? Yeah that's not kosher.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:51 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • My dad had my stepmom comitted for a while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Wow! Maybe it's because he really thinks your depressed?? Believe it or not, you can be suffering depression and not even realize it. Humor him, IF he will also see a professional about his rage issues. Maybe HE'S the one who's depressed?
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:52 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Sounds like a hell of a guy - I think you know what to do -
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • The man sound like a looney, what his money belong to only him???in a marriage whatever income that comes in belongs to the both of you regardless of who makes it, maybe you should point this out to him. Don't you have access to your money too??? if you don't, that needs to be changed and changed now!!!!! he also seems like he could use some anger management classes.....
    older

    Answer by older at 11:56 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I was married to a very controlling man who would throw things in anger. Control and anger management issues is mental abuse and is usually accompanied by verbal abuse. I was not allowed to get the mail or load the dishwasher how I wanted. I got out. Sure its tough, but I am so happy today that I would not ever go back. Statistics say abused women generally leave their abuser anywhere between 5 and 9 times before they stay gone for good. I stayed gone the fifth time, so it is possible. Good luck and feel free to email me parajumper3@yahoo.com if you want to chat.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • He is trying to use your mental state to prove your unfit he went to the doctor you both see first the doctor needs to be reported for not talking to you and I would also go in with your husband and tell them both you do not trust him and he should excuse himself and supply another therapist. Your husband is playing your therapist against you by using terms he knows and things to get his attention off the true problems do not stand by.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:12 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • He is projecting his own issues onto you. Just like a cheater does. You know make you feel like your doing something wrong but it's really him. Don't fall for the crap. Tell him you will go to an agreed upon therapist. I do believe you should to clear up money issues and anger. One therapist may not work but maybe the next will. GOOD LUCK!
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 12:35 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • There is this thing called HIPAA he can't talk to your doctor about your issues unless you have signed a consent form specifically stating that he can. You can raise hell with the doctor.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:57 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I don't have the ability to give a thumbs down but I would if I could on all of these responses. He seems concerned. A little selfish and controlling but obviously trying to 'fix' whats wrong. All of these women are bashing him and we have no idea what goes on inside your home except from this paragraph you've given.

    I would suggest you go to the therapist.
    rain408

    Answer by rain408 at 2:50 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

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