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was it wrong of me to ask my husband to choose?

ok so we have been seperated for a little less than a month. we were having hard problems yes but they were fixable. but then I found out he was talking to a girl from work who s 16 years younger than him. He says they are ONLY friends, he only talk to her on the phone and at work. But I left for that reason. I packed all three kids and went to my moms, so now he talks to her every night till like 3 am. This is ruining any reconciliation (if any) for us. Whatpushed me out the door was that I asked him to leave it at work, and when he is home with us it is family. He didnt like that and told me he wasnt going to stop talking to her. I had a problem with this bc he hid it from me and lied when asked about it. So I feel betrayed, lied to and disrespected. So tonight I text him: "If you want any future ith me, then you need to choose between me and her!" He said that it was stupid of me to ask him to chooe between us.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • What's stupid is that you text that to him...that's a really immature thing to do. You need to TALK to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I don't think you were wrong. I think it is pretty reasonable, actually. And his response tells you all you need to know. He is not interested in reconciling. I'm sorry, mama.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 1:01 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • no its not stupid! i would do the same your his wife shes a little girl. why would he even think it was ok to talk to her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I don't think that's stupid at all. You are married. His priorities should be with you and with his family and trying to reconcile a relationship with you if that is at all possible. And if he doesn't want to reconcile the relationship with you, he should just tell you that flat out, as hard as it may be. The choice should be simple for him, in all honesty. His wife and his family or not? In answer to your question, asking him to choose is WELL within your right as his wife. Don't let him make you think you shouldn't be asking him to make that choice. He needs to make it.

    Answer by sophiafarris at 1:04 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • no, you have every right to tell him to choose. Though his response to you seems to have answered your question.

    Answer by chyna_doll at 1:10 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • TEXTING? WRONG! How about some adult conversation face to face? NO you aren't wrong for asking him to choose, but honey WHY IS IT UP TO HIM? He made his choice when he said he wasn't going to stop talking to you made choice 2 and left. No keep going foward and gather yourself for a futue with your kids......THEY NEED YOU

    Answer by racingmomma at 1:15 AM on Nov. 26, 2008


    Sorry for all the spelling ( big hurry)

    Answer by racingmomma at 1:16 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • You shouldnt have to tell him to choose if he were a man he would already know what he needs to do, I would stay gone if i were you he sounds like he's being a looser right now and your kids dont need to see that and you dont need to go through it either.... sorry!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:16 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • thats not stupid you are his wife and he doesnt need to be talking to other females especially at 3 am. and the way he responded to the text tells you that he isnt going to choose and is going to continue talking to her. its up to you to decide if you want to turn your back or say you are done with it or should i say him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • My dh did this exact thing. Hid that he was talking to a girl at work for hours and then lied about it. Turns out they were sleeping together. Tell him to hit the road.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Nov. 26, 2008