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should i let my 18 year old step daughter move in?

i'm a mom of 4 and raising 2 stepkids so 6 alltogether,and my 18 yr old stepdaughter wants to move in.she lived with us for a week before we grounded her for all the trouble at school and she moved back in w/her mom.she's lived in another state w/grandparents for 13 we didn't even reallyknow her untill her mom had her come live with her 2yrs ago.the problem is she's 18 still in 10th grade failling again this year because she hardley goes to school,she won't get a job he pays child support but she thinks if shelives here she should get the money handed to her. she smokes our ciggs i do her laundry she wont even pick up after herself. her mom doesn't want her anymore so what do i do? i have 6 kids now 11 and under and she always wants rides and money because she doesn't have a lisence home isn't mine when she's her because daddy gives in to kids don't want her back here eitherso what do i do?


Asked by wells2811 at 1:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 9 (344 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • NO WAY! The kids at home come first, she is trouble. She is 18 and needs to get a job and going to school is a wast of time for her.

    Say sorry but No, and tell why, she needs to help her self first before you help her. Time for her to grow up!

    Answer by gammie at 1:54 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • no.. look up Job Corps. its a great FREE program that helps troubled teens and young adults finish their education and get job skills.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:44 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • It's gonna be hard and ppl will talk crap.. but NO I wouldn't. If she is disrespectful, unhelpful, irresponsible, and unable to help out, job,chores, school etc.... she wouldn't come back. All its going to do is cause more issues between you and her, they kids and her, hubbby and her, hubby and you.... and she will still be DISRESPECTFUL, LAZY. wHY CAN'T G'ma and mom put their foot down???.... b/c THEY HAVE ALLOWED THIS and now they want you guys to do something with her......

    Answer by kkbird at 2:29 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • No I dont think you should let her live there. She is a big girl now and its time for her to learn the hard way.

    Answer by Wish2Be at 1:44 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • No, No, No It will only get worse stand your ground and say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:57 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Honestly I wouldnt! Unless you really think you could handle another child and a troubled child at that. Best of luck

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:45 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Oh jeez- that is a tough one. Well it all hinges on Daddy since it IS his child - I hope that he can give some tough love and put his foot down - I have an 18 yr old of my own right now who is in 11th grade and causing untold havoc in my house because she doesn't want to follow some simple rules. I would NOT want to invite that kind of negativity into my house with other young children but you may cause a rift in your marriage if you don't agree with hubby and if he overrules you then HE is causing a rift. So it's a difficult decision. I firmly believe that whatever goes on behind closed doors between parents it is always CRUCIAL to appear as a united front. So get on the same page and fight for the sanity of your house with him. Try to ease his feelings of guilt and get him to see further enabling of this child will ONLY harm her long term - wouldn't he rather stay tough now and force her to grow up vs. allowing this?

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 1:46 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I think you should talk to your husband about it.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:51 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • we've talked he doesn't really want to try this again but he feels like everyone will look down on him if he tells her no, but i don't think i can handle another kid i'm raising 2 that aren't mine and my 4 .

    Comment by wells2811 (original poster) at 1:56 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Tell your hubby that he will not look bad if he protects his family.

    And if someone says something, than you tell them to take her in!

    Answer by gammie at 2:40 PM on Mar. 23, 2011