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How often does your husband ask for sex, does he touch or grope you around the house.

It's been 3 months since the birth of my son and I've been bleeding consistantly off and on. I'm stressed about money, how fat I've gotten, how gross I feel and he asks for sex every night. I always tell him no. He begs all the time. Sometimes I give in but he will ask the next day for it again. I am so unaffectionate and he always complains about it. I just don't want to be touched. He finds it funny to grab my boobs or touch my crotch it just makes me mad. Is this normal? This is my first child so I don't know how I should be acting after the birth of a baby. How do I get back in the mood again.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Its worse when he's not asking. I feel I look pretty darn good for 5mos PP, but there is a wedge between us thats unspoken. I'm really not intrested either and HE's still trying to lose the baby weight. I think its my hormones, I still haven't had a period and I don't think my sex drive is back.

    Answer by Farrahann at 2:52 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Well, you can't force your self to "get back in the mood again". It takes months for pregnancy hormones to leave you feeling normal again. And if you are breatsfeeding, that can cause an influx of hormones that can lessen your desire for sex a great deal. I understand feeling "gross" but he obviously does not find you to be gross and I would at least be thankful for that, even if he is annoying the hell out of you. He may even be feeling more attracted to you because you are the mother of his baby. So, yes, it is normal for him to want to jump all over you. He didn't birth a baby. His hormones are right where they were when he got you pregnant in the first place. And it's also normal for you to be feeling this way. But it will get better as time passes. Just please try to think about it in a positive way and try not to beat yourself up over it.

    Answer by Raegy at 2:53 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Take your time, and when you are ready to be sexual again, you will. Explain to him that what you've gone through was a quite big deal, and that you need some more time to feel back up to things. You are tired, and learning how to care for a new baby. You likely don't feel as attractive as you used to either. Let him know. He needs to do more than just grope and touch. It's about making you feel good again.

    I am almost 17 months postpartum, and I still don't feel interested. So, you are definitely not alone.

    Hugs to you. I relate and understand.

    Answer by MommytoNakoa at 3:21 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Well my post baby sex is always sooooo good so im always really exited to get back in the saddle again but........ I know you feel icky after baby and you are tired, I have really really hard pregnancies and I look awfule during them so when I have them I feel like a million bucks. Anyway your husband is obviously not thinking you are gross because he is begging you for sex it sounds like you may have a bit of baby blues going on you may want to go to the dr and talk about it with him.... also maybe get all dolled up and feel go about yourself and maybe you will be more in the mood if you feel attractive....

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:15 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • CONT..... I would just try to take care of the situation because no sex can really cause problems in a marriage. And as for the groping and what not my SO is the same way but when he doesnt do it I tend to really miss it!! I think thats normal for alot of guys not all show afftection with roses and running fingers through your hair...

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:15 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • It is a normal thing, your hormaones will dictate your sexual desires..I personally would start focusing on taking my body back and my self esteem!! I know because I have been there ..weight watchers..a treadmill..ect..YOU need to DO you to get back what you once had..If you do not feel sexy..then you will never be sexy..regardless of what others tell you, it has to come from within..WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST!

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 11:34 AM on Nov. 26, 2008

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