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how do I help my daughter move out on her own? with out no money or job to doo so??

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Redthunder

Asked by Redthunder at 5:52 PM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • WHEN YOU FIND OUT LET ME KNOW
    buttonlts

    Answer by buttonlts at 5:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • how can she move out then?
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 5:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Is there a reason she doesn't have a job? MAKE HER GET ONE !! I had a job since I Was 14 !~ I don't see the problem.. is she planning on going to college? what does she say for her future? Like what does she want to do?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:54 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • how would she be able to? Is she looking for a job? If not sent her out there!
    Unless you wont pay the rent for her I guess tehres no way.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 5:55 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I am going through the same thing, mine is 18, a junior in HS but ya know I am TIRED of the conflict - she gets made storms out for a week, then comes back - I get mad - I kick her out. She is hell bent that she knows best and she turned 18 in January. She just got a job and wants to move in with her boyfriend. I am over it and have decided to stop fighting with her and let her fall on her face or fly. She is old enough - sometimes ya just gotta let em go mama so they learn some life lessons. I will continue to pay for her birth control and remind her that she CANNOT multiple and come back into this house and that is the best I can do. Many mamas will disagree with me on this but they don't know all my details either so I don't care. Good Luck and PM me any time you need some support.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 5:55 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • she doesnt have a car, an we live in a one horse town. an she just sit's even when I aske her to do somthing like get up an do somthing/ it is a constant fight all the time. im not even happy to come home to my own house..
    Redthunder

    Comment by Redthunder (original poster) at 5:56 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Sounds VERY familar. I'm not sure how she thinks she will move out without a job. GIRL I feel for you as I am living it. My life is happy except for the conflict I have with her - I feel like an enemy in my own house and I decided I am just over it. She stepped up and got a job (which IS progress) and has roommates lined up so I'm going to let her go. I WOULD NOT, if I were you, foot the bill for it. The whole point of my tough love is to make her grow up and take responsibility for all these things she wants to do. My daughter has no car and takes the bus everywhere. She has actually already mapped her route from her new place to her job - so even though it makes me sad she is going, it's almost a relief and I think this is just how it has to be. I've been a great mom - I know that and she has been a tough kid to raise. HUGS TO YOU
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 5:59 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • My BIL is similar, he is 23 still living in his moms house! But MIL is such an enabler it drives me nuts!!! Since your situation is a little different IDK...But she needs a plan. Shes gotta go to school or work! You really need to give her a time limit! Bills dont pay themselves and shes got to learn that. Some people really have no clue how expensive it is to live!! But there are places like job core that she can go, that provide housing and food while training for a job...Without a car, and being so far from everything IDK what she can do...but you definitely need to get the ball rolling here!!! GL to you
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 6:05 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • It seems she needs to learn responsibility and be able to stand on her own. The sad part is the job market is scarce, giving less hope to the younger generation. Don't give up, or give in. Encourage your daughter so that she will want better and to move on. The longer she does nothing, the easier it will be for her not to get out. She needs to set goals each week if possible. Get a listing of any jobs in your area that she can apply for. Help her type up a resume. Giving positive encouragement so that she will want to do better for herself in life.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:31 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I'm trying to practice tough love with my 23 year old only daughter who still lives at home. She totalled the car we let her drive so now my husband drives her to and from work if she can't get someone else to. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle as someone is always undermining me. She's hurt me in more ways. She hates being here in our house, in this city, hates her job, seems to hate everything, so I've had to work on my mindset to deal with her or ignore her; I have a psychologist I see regularly for more reasons, but this is primary. She's going to Vegas next week; I hope she finds a job and a roommate there. She seems to think that'll solve her problems. Part of me wants her to move, part of me will miss her and hurt even more, but something's gotta give.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:31 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

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