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I feel bad now but I didn't then...

My SO and I have been fighting a lot the last two days. I got an e mail from him last night on why he didn't want to be with me anymore which I didn't get until he was already home from work. So I confronted him, well one thing led to another and I told him I was done I can't take it anymore I'm to the point where I just don't care. Then I went to bed and he followed and said I think we should talk. Then he said something about my oldest daughter and I said shes my kid! Shes not his biological father but has been raising her since she was 6 months old. We'll I guess it up set him, because he thought I wasn't going to let him see her. Which I never said if i was or wasn't I didn't actually say anything. Then he got up and left and I could hear him crying in the other room at the time I didn't care I wanted to hurt his as much as he hurt me over the past few months. But this morning when I woke up I felt so bad I could have cried myself. I told him I was sorry that I don't want to fight anymore and I don't want to leave. Anyone else get in knock down drag out fights and feel horrible about it the next day? On the other hand I'm kinda glad I did or else I don't think he would have gotten it. I would never keep her from him he loves her to death and always told me he fell in love with her first you don't keep a father like that from their baby even if its not through blood.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I've been in a couple bad fights like that with dh. But we got over it.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 7:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • Oh, I hate those fights. Usually, we both have alot of apologizing to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • sometimes you have to knock the whole pile of blocks over, before you can rebuild something stable, yes i have been there, married almost 8 yrs, it happens and good relationships grow and get better from learning from the bad times, its all where you go from here.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I agree with AmaliaD. I've found that with my SO, telling him the one thing that I think is going to break us up, ends up being the one thing that brings us closer together and gets us back on track. I feel bad for things I say sometimes, but not too often, only because I tend to really think before I say anything to him. I used to have a major temper, and would explode when my ex would tick me off. I didn't like being like that, so now I work really hard to think before I speak so I don't say hurtful things that I don't mean.

    And I know what you mean about the father thing, too. My SO once said he thought I wouldn't let him see my kids if we broke up. I told him straight out that no matter what happened between us, I would always let him be in their lives. They've all bonded, and they all love each other. I have no right to stand in the way of that. But they get scared, because they know technically we could.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:58 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • It has happened in the last 13 years, but not often. Sometimes I think it takes them getting the picture of what "losing it all" would really mean to them for them to value what they have.

    Apologize and move on. I think both of you have made your points.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:28 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • those are the worst fights ever. just thinking about them makes me sad. So is everything ok now?

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:17 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

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