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Why is it when a woman says she doesn't want children she's some kind of pariah?

Even on here, whenever a woman says that she didn't want children prior to having them she's torn apart... If a man doesn't want kids he's not seen as strange or incomplete, he's not ostracized, he's just accepted. Women on the other hand simply can't admit to not wanting children, not wanting more children or that they didn't want children before they had children without being ripped in to...

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SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 7:25 PM on Mar. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I have great respect for people who can admit that a) they would be crappy parents b) kids don't fit into their lifestyle, and they don't want to give their lifestyle up or c) they just don't plain old don't want them. It takes more balls to stand firm in not wanting them than to have them and not be sure you really want them
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 7:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I don't have a problem with it at all. I have a cousin in her 20's that swears she never wants kids. Of course, she's never been in a committed relationship either, so I have told her that it's possible she might change her mind when she meets Mr. Right, but if not, that's okay too.
    I think most people just don't understand that there may be women who lack that strong need to reproduce. I respect the hell out of a woman (or man) who knows that they don't like and don't want children...it's much better than having them anyway, and being a lousy parent.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 7:28 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I know a few women who don't plan on having children, I don't think much of it. It's not that they don't like kids or anything like that, it's just not what they want for their own life. No big deal to me!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I don't get it, either. It's not like they're doing anything wrong. We don't have a people shortage around here, as far as I know. ;) Everyone should be able to live their lives as they see fit and not feel like they are somehow obligated to breed.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:29 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I haven't seen that. I think everyone is entittled to their feelings and oppinions. I think it's wrong to generalize. My brother and his gf don't want kids, she says she doesn't want to have to change diapers etc. It's their call, I won't judge other just cause they don't want kids. My brother says he'd rather spoil his nieces and nephews.
    it's a double standard though.
    emmasmama2007

    Answer by emmasmama2007 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • i am surprised at some of the questions - maybe it is just because I am not in the cm groups where they appear .. I do have children but I have never encountered criticism of women who choose not to have them. Maybe if you live in the bible belt there are people with this intolerant attitude , all I can say is that I have never met any . Similarly with criticisms of SAHM's - I am one of those and I have never been criticised for it , at least to my face . Then there is the breastfeeding controversy ; again I cannot see what is ' controversial ' as it comes down to a matter of personal choice and in a few cases necessity .

    I would avoid hypercritical people like those and any churches or other places where they are likely to congregate .
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 7:35 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • I have seen a lot of this attitude, like there must be something wrong with a woman who doesn't have the desire to reproduce. Years ago, I didn't think I would ever have children and there were actually several people who told me that it was unnatural and wrong for a woman to not want to become a mother.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:39 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • an answer ? i have no answer but i know myself i dont criticise other women who dont want kids its a personel choice not only that but look at all the crazy stuff thats going on in the world around us i have head alot more ladies saying they dont want to bring babies into this kind of world so i chalk it up to each their own
    freckles9399

    Answer by freckles9399 at 7:46 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • My Aunt doesn't have any kids.......she's a NUN!!
    jucyfrut

    Answer by jucyfrut at 8:40 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

  • It is good to be honest and admit you don't feel the need for children. If a woman has children but really is ambivalent about them or felt forced into being a other, it won't be good for her or for her kids.
    You have to really want to be pregnant, give birth and raise children.
    And to criticize women who don't is really unfair and harsh.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:01 PM on Mar. 23, 2011

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