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Sharing a bed appropriate?

Is there a certain age/time when sleeping in the same bed as a child is inappropriate?

I have a good friend who has been divorced a few years, and has 2 girls, ages 8 and 3. Her ex shares a king size bed with the girls when he has his visitation.

Personally, I do not think I would be comfortable with my ex sharing a bed with our 4yr old daughter, but he has a history of sexual addiction, so I guess that makes it different.

Interested to see replies!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Mar. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • In today's culture, society would probably see that as inappropriate. You need to decide what is appropriate for you and your situation. If you feel that his sexual addiction presents a danger to your children when they're sleeping, then it's not appropriate. Families in other cultures only have on bed. It's normal to them to co-sleep together, and not at all sexual.

    Answer by Renee3K at 12:10 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • "Is there a certain age/time when sleeping in the same bed as a child is inappropriate?"

    I don't see a problem with a child snuggling into bed with the parents if he/she is scared, had a nightmare, feels sick etc. but it's important that the child has their own bed to go back to. My kids have both crawled in with me at any age right into their teens but they've never assumed that my bed is also their bed. 

    Good question! I thought it would be easier to answer than it actually was as I started answering. 


    Answer by pjtimmermans at 12:14 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • i don really think its inappropriate, is her ex thier father? i mean if he had sexual problems towards them or other young childern i wouldnt allow it , but i dont see the problem. Or maybe if u or ur child like to sleep naked or something then maybe but im 24 years old and wheni stay at my moms i sleep in bed with her, and if it was my dad id probably sleep in the same bed.

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 12:17 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I don't see that as being inappropriate or weird. My oldest son is 9 and he still occasionally sleeps with me. Do they not have their own beds at his place?

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:49 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • of course it is approved! maybe when they start really liking boys...than they would need their own 5 year old still likes to sleep w me..but my d/h came back in to my life (we dated when we were teens) and my bed is small and that was the end of that. she will sleep on the floor in my room sometimes though. i dont think she was ready for her own bed and all that. i feel badly over it alot! but when we get our taxes in we are getting new beds for us and the i wanna get at least a more room...maybe i'll push for a king!

    Answer by dancingthrulife at 1:07 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • After newborn age,I dont think it should EVER be done! JMHO

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:25 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • We share a bedroom. It's literally a BED We all sleep in there. And up till recently my 4 yr old was sleeping in OUR bed. He still migrates over in the early morning. so no...I dont' see a problem with it. And sexual addict doesn't = pedophile.

    Answer by rosesNclovers at 11:25 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I don't think it matters. If he is a perv Social Services should have already been involved.I would be glad he loves them and wants to be by their side as much as possible. I'm sure they (the kids) are. I wouldn't waste time critiquing him for that.When the time is right they'll move to their beds or he'll send them there. "don't bite off your own nose in spite of your face"

    Answer by CHarlan at 11:29 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I think that parents need to do what feels right for them and their children. I personally don't see anything wrong with it. My grandfather and I used to watch old movies in bed and end up falling asleep. My father was never around so he helped raise me. It was a bonding time for us.

    Answer by Court128 at 11:48 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

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