Okay so, I feel kinda stupid for even asking this, but hey! It's bothering me and the anominity of cafemom seems like a good place to get a non-biased opinion.
So my fiancee chats pretty regular with this girl on FB, which is not a problem. The problem I have is him saying "love ya" to her. They never dated or slept together, but before he and I got together he spoke of her as "somebody I could make my girlfriend" and to be honest, she's a bit of a skank. Not that I haven't had my fare share of slut moments, but this girl is straight-up scandalous. I was just promiscuous, lol.
But anyway, so I've mentioned it to him before and he dismisses it as paranoia, which admittedly it kind of is, but REALLY? All this "love ya" and "miss ya" shit is getting on my nerves. I don't think he'd cheat on me with her, but she'd do it if given the chance.
And firthermore, I strongly believe that if I was telling some guy friend "love ya" he'd say something about it. He already doesn't like a guy friend of mine because he thinks said friend wants me. He does, but I don't want him and he knows that so the sleeping dogs are let to lie. Never mentioned or hinted at or anything of the sort. So is this the same situation and I'm being a hypocrite? Then again, I'm not saying "love ya" and "miss you" on FB for God and all our friends to see now am I? We don't talk like that.
I guess it's stupid, we live far away from our hometown (where she lives) now, so it's not even like they could physically meet. It just bothers me I guess. Is this legit or am I just being a nosey paranoid girlfriend? Would you be pissed? Especially since it's an on-going thing?
Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 AM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships
It wouldn't be an ongoing thing in my house. I would have kicked his ass out long ago and let him go be with her since he "misses" her so much. Very inappropriate.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:49 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by Raccoon at 3:53 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by Liblib430 at 4:09 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
either you are his everything or his nothing..it sure seems like he is on the fence when it comes to you. he might care about you,but you are not his everything, he is obviously seeking validation/an ego boost from this "friend".
Answer by gwen20 at 4:29 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by Kelly502 at 5:09 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
If he did this prior to marrying you, is posting so that the world can see it, and the two of them never meet, my gut says you are over-reacting. However, as your husband, if you've discussed how this bothers you and he has made no effort to assuage your anxiety, THAT is something that needs to be addressed. It may not be that he's having an affair, but if he's so insensitive to how his actions affect you, it will lead to much larger problems later on.
Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:24 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by Obi.Ren.Kenobi at 8:07 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by jspenny2705 at 8:37 AM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 24, 2011