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What can i do about the little girl next door?

so i just moved into an apartment complex a few months ago and i have a neighbor a couple doors down who has a daughter that is a little older than my son and i sometimes walk over while they are outside so that they can play. the girls mom is only 19 and also has a 8 month old baby in the home. the mom is the type that gets up in the morning and basically sits on the porch all day to keep the little girl from tearing up the house....they are usually outside EVERY time i open my door, leave home, return home, still outside lol. i dont take my son outside to play very often while we are home bc he cant play with his toys the way he likes (all balls roll to the other end of the complex etc) so i more often take him to the park or to the lake with his sister and dad. but this little girl who sits outside all day wants him to come play with her EVERYDAY all day. when she wakes up in the morning and goes outside she runs directly to knock on my door. then when they play she doesnt like to share and they always end up arguing because she doesnt want him playing with her stuff. she also runs to my car everytime i pull up in the yard wanting him to play, and he goes crazy when he sees her bc of course he wants to play but i have other plans and things to do other than sitting on the porch all day everyday. yesterday people were working on my apt and i left the door unlocked, and the girl just opens the door and walks right on in!! her mom tries to handle her but the girl is very stubborn. she knocked on my door 4 times after she walked in. it was almost 90 degrees and i sure as hell wasnt going out on the porch! i do take DS out to play almost everyday whether it be walmart or the park. i do feel sorry for the little girl because she is obviously very bored but we shouldnt be the ones to keep her entertained all the time right? how to i say politely that i dont want her running in my house!! and how can i express that my son wont be outside all the time so she wont be running to him expecting him to everytime she sees him?

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secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 8:50 AM on Mar. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Man, rough. Not sure how to do that without hurting the little girls' feelings, I couldn't care less about the mom lol. If you say something to the mom she might tell the little girl you don't like her or something crazy like that :( I'll try to think of something and get back to you...
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 8:56 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • i don't know if i could say anything. maybe she will find another kid soon enough to torture
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:57 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • How old is this little girl? I'm guessing under school age, since she's home all day.

    Clearly you feel badly for this girl and I absolutely get how irritating it can be. I would sit her down with her mom present and tell her, we like having you as a friend, but we can't play together all the time. Set down ground rules, like you have to knock at the door, can't walk right in. Let her & her mom know that you'll tell her right away when you can play, but that if you say no, she needs to take that as an answer.

    It is sad that this little girl has so little going on in her life and that her young mother seems so overwhelmed. Good luck!
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:00 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • lol i surely dont wanna hurt the kids feelings shes a cutie pie and the love playing together, but they are a handful together, and while outside the mom will sit and barely pay attention while the kids are running on the edge of the road where cars drive through the complex and are all in other peoples' yards etc, i spend the whole time they are outside playing referree and after about 10 minutes im ready to come inside. and i hate to make the lil girl cry bc she does when her mom makes her stop knocking on my door, but i can only take small doses of some kids. my son is perfectly happy on the inside playing hide n seek with mommy lol
    secondtyme520

    Comment by secondtyme520 (original poster) at 9:03 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • What a hard situation! I suggest that you tell the little girl if it happens again, "Sweetie, you're not supposed to walk into someone's house without them inviting you in and without your mommy knowing where you are! It could be dangerous!" Do the same with her running up to your car- explain that it could be dangerous! As for knocking all the time, tell her and her mother that you'll come over when your son can play, that sometimes you have other things you have to do. Do it nicely though, because I know you don't want to hurt her feelings. Hope this helps!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:48 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • We have similar situation. I solved the problem by making a sign to put on our front door, it's a stop sign I printed out and had laminated, and then I explained to the neighbourhood kids (and a couple of parents) that if this sign is on our front door, it means we're not able to play. For the most part, it works pretty well.
    DangerousMommy

    Answer by DangerousMommy at 9:50 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • It kind of sounded like you were insulting her mom, but the fact is the mom is being responsible, I mean I am 25 with 5kids, and me and DH are a great military family, her age doesnt matter in this situation! Also, I wouldn't say anthing, is it really that difficult to nicely say everyday that he can't play right now? She is a child, nd being friendly! DK I think that this is a negative way of looking at a noral situation!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 10:31 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • We used to have those types of issues too. I would jus say to my daughter that she can't play outside right now because of such & such reason. After a while, the kids would get the hint that she wasn't allowed out all day, every day, and they would back off and find other kids to play with. As for the little girl knocking on your door, don't even answer it unless the mom is there.
    isaboo22

    Answer by isaboo22 at 11:18 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Maybe you could set up a play date time of the week. It sounds like your son enjoys at least the concept of your company but then instead of saying no you could say, not right now but we can't wait to see you on Thursday?
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 2:19 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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