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2 Bumps

What are ways you handle being insulted by inlaws?

Last night my fiancees parents asked him if I was pregnant ( I am not) My son is 18 months and I didnt lose all of my baby weight, I have an additional 10-15lbs more to lose but I have not let that get the best of me until now. I was taking pride in life and my family and didnt let the weight get to me. When he told his parents no, they didnt believe him they said they could clearly see it in my belly. This hurt a lot, and isnt the only insult I have gotten from them. My finacee wont talk to them about it because in his words "they arent very bright" and it wouldnt make a difference, they would forget what he said in a minute anyway and sadly hes right. I think they choose to be that way though. Plus they hold things over his head so he wouldnt be able to comfortably confront them without them saying "oh well we are paying for your college...etc " and make him feel bad. He will not let me say anything to them because again it will make it worse for him. His parents are both super heavy 290 and 400+ lbs so im sure this is making them feel better to insult me at 159 lbs. So far thats the only thing that has kept me kind of sane is knowing they are feeling bad about themselves. But the insults didnt stop there. My son was tired and was leaning on me and then he let himself go and plopped down on his rear (not a fall or anything bad) and my fiancees dad said that wasnt because my son was tired that was because of bad parenting...although 20 minutes later my son was fast asleep. His mother told me she always liked his other gf and thought he would end up with her. He did correct her when she made that comment but it did no good. My first day home from the hospital with my son I was holding him and his sister said " look mommy shes finally holding her son and bonding like how we talked and said she wasnt doing in the first place" The reason i couldnt bond to begin with is because they wouldnt put him down in the hospital, they thought it was their right to hold him as guests. What are some things you all do to either get over this, get it out of your head, or deal with it?

 
mitchellb

Asked by mitchellb at 9:25 AM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,346 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Dang girl...I'm sorry! I thought my in-laws were bad! (well they still are lol) I have just learned that they aren't going to change...you either be around them and brush off everything they say or you can cut them out of your life. There really isn't a need for you to be around people so negative and mean. Surround yourself with people that love and support you! You'll be much happier!
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 9:48 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I would just stay away from them. Who needs the added stress? One day, they will regret (and hopefully apologize) for how they have treated you -- until then, easy come and easy go:-) G'luck!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:35 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like they are toxic people and I would cut them out of my life. I don't spend a lot of time with my inlaws because they are very similar to yours. Let your fiancee see his parents if he wants, but don't feel like you have to go along.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:37 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like their insecurities about weight are being taken out on you and/or they are trying to sabotage your happiness ... after all, they sound pretty miserable and misery loves company after all. After losing a lot of weight (over 50 pounds), my MIL would greet me at her door with a candy bar anytime we visited her. When I would decline, she'd make some snarky comment about my weight.

    That's just one of the many examples I can share but I eventually earned that it was best to have limited time with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Avoid them as much as possible and on the rarest of occasion that you are in the same place at the same time keep all conversation short. It's easy to say just ignore them or don't let them get to you but it will. Remember they are 'sick' people, you are healthy.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:54 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I usually ignore it and go on about my life. I'm happy with my decisions and choices and the way I live my life, and I think that is the thing that just burns their biscuits, so to speak :)
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:13 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • maybe when they make comments like that you should come back with one yourself. not so directly towards them but just say something. who cares what your husband says, obviously he isn't sticking up for you, so that it doesn't make it worse. well boohoo, tell him to stand up to them and regardless if he thinks it won't work. maybe if he says to them if they dont' stop with their comments, maybe its best they dont' come around you guys anymore, since they obviously can't be civilized people.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 12:55 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • You don't need to be treated like that and its a no win situation. I understand why your husband doesn't want to confront them and why you also don't want to speak up but morons like that don't get better. I think the best thing to do is limit your interaction with them as much as possible, you don't need toxic people in your life and once they have eaten you up for lunch they will start working on your kids. Next time you have plans with them tell your husband you plan to have the flu that day ( which they will probably blame on your bad housekeeping or something).
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 12:05 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Id just stay away from them.. They seem to just want to make you feel bad to feel better about themselves.. I have had to go through stuff like this to so know that your not alone.. Best of luck dealing with these people.. Hugs
    mommato2boys79

    Answer by mommato2boys79 at 2:19 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Oh momma the stories I could tell you about my crazy inlaws, I could go on for days telling you things that been said about me, my DH, my kids, some people are so childish and mine are flat out dumb, I use to wonder why pick a fight with me or why talk about me? I never did anything but be helpful,nice,caring and understanding but I finally figured it out women HATE when other women look better or are better at it then them, so just think of it like this , the reason they feel the need to put you down is because they only wish they could be half of what you are, laugh at what they say (it will eat them more than getting mad) and let it roll off your shoulders, I did and I also told them where they could go and haven't spoke to them since and it feels WONDERFUL!!! good luck momma , sounds like you have some trashy in-laws like I have!!!!
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 11:58 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

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